SHARLEEN and MARTI 1
Sketch 1
SHARLEEN AND MARTI'S GLASGOW PENTHOUSE MORNING
Scotland's two top soul singers are now an item and between world tours spend their time away from the limelight in their Glesga' lovenest.
MARTI
Remember when everybody thought I was just a guy in a pop band who smiled a lot, got on your tits and your granny fancied , Sharleen, doll?
SHARLEEN
You can get on my tits anytime, dreamboat. Aye, ah dae,Marti.
MARTI
Aw shuttup you! That's rude! You know I'm shy and sensitive about romance and that. Too much soul, I guess.
SHARLEEN
Baith ae us, my big hunk of burnin' love. Too soulful, by half.
Shall we have a quick blast of our tune?
MARTI
You know my feelings are very deep for you, doll. In fact I even R.E.S.P.E.C.T. you.
They start singing Aretha Franklin's Respect.
MARTI
You are wan pure soul kitten, Sharleen doll.
SHARLEEN
And you are wan pure soul cat, Marti, dreamboat.
MARTI
Just think, Sharleen, doll. If any a' wir fans could see us just as we are, at hame, they'd get a shock wouldn't they?
SHARLEEN
Too true, dreamboat. They would realise that even though we're Scotland's, if not Glesga's, two top soul artists that we're totally unpretentious and down tae earth.
MARTI
Just pure humble but full a' soul.
SHARLEEN
We're dead lucky to have found each other and be sharing this pure amazing, talented soulful journey together, aren't we?
MARTI
That is profound, Sharleen, doll. Profound and soulful. Do you know what? Ah think you've just given me the name for my new album.
SHARLEEN
Whit? Soulful Journey?
MARTI
Naw! Don't be daft! Pure. Amazing. Talented.
Fades
