DEEP IN THE AMAZON JUNGLE
F/XJUNGLE SOUNDS, CONTINUOUS.
Carruthers:
(V.O.) After twenty eight days journey through the deepest Amazon jungle we finally chanced upon something extraordinary.
Carruthers:
Forbes! Look there. Isn't it magnificent?
Forbes:
Where?
Carruthers:
There, nestling in the undergrowth. Have you ever seen anything quite like it? The vibrant colours, the neck frills, the spectacular plumage. I think this is it. This is the new species we've come all this way to find.
Forbes:
It looks like a turkey in a clown suit.
Carruthers:
Heh heh, yes. Nevertheless this is a momentous occasion. Do you realise we are probably the first men to ever lay eyes on this magnificent creature. It makes one think doesn't it?
Forbes:
It certainly does...
Carruthers:
Nestling there, untouched by so called civilisation. Innocent to the cruel barbarity that lies beyond the bounds of this green inferno.
PAUSE
Forbes:
I wonder what it tastes like?
Carruthers:
What?
Forbes:
It's flesh. Do you think it tastes like turkey?
Carruthers:
Oh, not again.
Forbes:
It’s probably chicken – it’s always chicken.
Carruthers:
Forbes! I have not travelled hundreds of miles into the planet's most inhospitable jungle to seek out new and exotic species of animal just so you can have them for dinner.
Forbes:
What about that lizard thing a few days ago?
Carruthers:
That was an aberration. I'd spent all day sketching it in my journal and in the time it took me to go and have a dump you'd had the thing gutted, sliced and popped in a stew. I've never been so shocked and appalled.
Forbes:
(BEAT) Was nice though, wasn't it?
Carruthers:
Yes, but that is hardly the point. We are here to discover and observe nature in all its wondrous glory… not to pick its fibrous remains from between our teeth.
PAUSE
Forbes:
What if we just sliced off a bit of it? Just a taster?
Carruthers:
No!
Forbes:
One leg - unless you want some?
Carruthers:
No, no and once again no! We'll make do with our standard rations. Speaking of which now seems like as good a time as any for a spot of luncheon. What’s on the menu, Forbes?
Forbes:
Same as every day for the last three weeks – dried Dodo sandwiches.
Carruthers:
(SIGHS) Right, I have dibs on the breast flesh!
Forbes:
Hurrah! I’ll fetch my knife!
END.