British Comedy Guide

Classic Film Line Number One

We see a park warden in a rowboat heading toward a skinhead who has a swastika tattooed on his head and is sitting on a jetty with his boots by his side and his bare feet are in the water while he is drinking full strength lager and smoking a spliff

PARK WARDEN
I'm sorry sir but you can't fish here

SKINHEAD
I'm not fishing I'm just cooling my feet in the water

PARK WARDEN
Come on sir, it's not my first day; I know you've got a line and bait tide to your toe.

SKINHEAD
No I haven't, so f**k off and mind your own business you silly twat

PARK WARDEN
Suit yourself sir

The park warden then rows over to a man who has all the right gear and tackle and who has his fishing licence poking out of his hat

PARK WARDEN
I'm sorry but you can't fish here today sir

ANGLER
Why not I have a licence?

PARK WARDEN
It's not that sir some idiot has released a shark in the park lake and we're waiting for some experts.

We then hear a splash and a scream and we see that a Great White shark has the skinhead in its mouth.

PARK WARDEN
I'm going to need a bigger boat

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