STUART PEARCE IS HOLDING TALKS WITH AN FA CHIEF.
FA CHIEF:
Now Stuart, what I'd like to know is WHY the Under 21's performed so dismally?
STUART:
Listen, I'll give you three reasons. Location, location, location!
FA CHIEF:
Alright, explain to me why the location was so detrimental.
STUART:
Well, I mean it was Israel, wasn't it?
FA CHIEF:
Mm?
STUART:
Well, I mean the players were afraid of being blown to bits, weren't they?
FA CHIEF:
Okay, and were there any other contributing factors?
STUART:
Confusion!
FA CHIEF:
Confusion?
STUART:
Well, I mean staging a EUROPEAN tournament in the MIDDLE EAST; is a bit of a head f**k, isn't it?
FA CHIEF:
Mm. Well look Stuart; I appreciate the... insight you've given me.
STUART:
Listen; can I just say what a privilege it's been to manage the youth of my country? And that if you don't offer me a new contract...
FA CHIEF:
You'll graciously...
STUART:
Nut your f**king block off!
END