Help Wanted

Hello I don't think I'm still at the stage where I need to introduce myself to most posters and I am sure those who have read my posts will have taken a position on me by now.

Despite my writing in what many may see as an almost aggressive style at times I
wish to assure fellow posters I am nothing more than a nice person with a good attitude outside of these boards.

My problem is that I need help, I am a self taught person having had no formal education whatsoever including primary school.

Like most posters my ultimate goal and desire is to be recognised for my comedy.
Were I may differ slightly is that I have no desire to be famous nor do I expect to be, I just want my words to come to life and make enough money to pay my way in life.

At this moment I have started writing what I believe to be an extremely funny book that will appeal to a broad section of the comedy reading community.
It may seem big headed and aloof to suggest this but this book is really really funny and could make dough and whilst it won't change the world it may help lift me out of poverty.
My problem which was identified by quite a few posters that I respect is that I posses no editing skills and poor grammar etc.

As such I am asking for help, I do not need a co writer I need an editor type of person who could make the first two chapters presentable enough for me to send to agents.

I plan on writing about sixty pages of the story and also the all important synopses, which is a task that I am incapable of.

If any poster has these skills and the time to help me I would be really grateful and would consider them as a co writer and subject to half of any money it makes.
That may sound fanciful and far fetched but as it stands I am really struggling financially so I would rather give away half of something than posses the whole of nothing.
This is a serious offer as I no longer intend to waste my time writing sketches that will never get past these boards.

Now I know many may see this a mix of inflated ego and think me delusional but I know I can do this but I also recognise I would need help to do so.
If anyone would be willing to help who possess the skill to edit please PM me and lets do it!

Teddy, I wouldn't mind proof reading/editing for you.

If it's just 2 chapters it wouldn't be much work and if it is as funny as you are confident it is then I am sure it will be an enjoyable experience.

I wouldn't want to split half of any money you make as it is your project but if the book takes off then maybe you can help to promote my work in return!

If you want to PM me to exchange emails go for it.
I am still fairly new to this site so perhaps you would prefer to go with someone you know better than myself, of course I would understand this.

Good luck.

Good luck, Teddy! Take up Julio's offer. I think you've got what it takes - and you're certainly tenacious, which is essential in this business!

Go for it, Ted, it's a good offer.

I have done, thanks for the support chaps

Brilliant that you now have a clear idea of where you want to go with your comedy Teddy, hope this is the start of a fruitful new chapter for you (see what I did there? )

Teddy... publishers want people who can deliver on time and repeatedly. You need to find your own style and if I might say your own confidence rather than arrogance. And I know you are not that but that is what you project sometimes. Writers don't wish to be famous.. most just want to make enough to make their way in life for example - and very few do. I don't know any writers who want to be 'famous'. Write your book and then edit it yourself and then maybe get some one to look at it before you send to agents etc. Trust me an agent is not going to take you on on the basis of a chapter or few and an outline. Honestly. And publishing is just as problematic as TV. You write lucidly enough on here.. so believe in yourself and just do it. In a novel it's all about expression and character and dialogue.... and a story. Bugger all to do with grammar and a formal education.

FanKs 4 dat vote of kOnfedence Merc Eye'll eggnore de gramer coz Eyem quiet cLeva now hanyway