British Comedy Guide

What are words worth?

A desert town.

We see a British Regimental Sgt Major leaning on a wall that is riddled with bullet holes.

In front of him are two Middle Eastern men fighting each other with their hands.

One of the men then gets the other in the headlock and looks at the Sgt Major.

The Sgt Major indicates with eyes for the man to ram the other mans head into the wall.

The man runs his victims head into the wall and the victim collapses.

The man looks to the Sgt Major, who then looks at the floor, there is a large plank of wood.

The man gets the wood and batters the unconscious man to death with it.

The Sgt Major then walks off into a tent with a Union Jack outside.

Inside the tent we see a British Captain sitting at a fold up table.

In front of the desk there are two more men of Middle Eastern appearance arguing among themselves.

The Captain then looks at one of the men then looks at a really sharp letter opener on his desk.

The man sees this and then grabs the letter opener and stabs the other man in the neck and he drops dead.

Next we see David Cameron addressing the house

CAMERON
I can assure this house that our presence in Syria is in an advisory capacity only!

Just an observation Teddy but a lot of your sketches rely on the reader being taken step by step through the scene as if looking at one of those old moving flick books, so though always nicely descriptive, unless you can get them filmed I feel you are never really going to be able to show their real worth on this dry screen we call Critique.

Tis true alas Shan, sadly I ain't even got a camera on me phone.

Share this page