One born every minute sketch

RESEARCHER: Well first of all, can I just say thank you to both for volunteering to take part in the programme.
MIKE: Oh not at all!
SARAH: We just saw the advert and thought, why not?
RESEARCHER: That's great! It's something you need to think hard about though, it takes a certain kind of couple to agree to be filmed whilst in labour.
SARAH: Well we've thought about it, and think it's the right thing to do, if we can show viewers what a normal couple having a normal pregnancy look like.
RESEARCHER: Yes, right. Normal. So how long have you been together?
MIKE: Five years...
SARAH: And married for three!
RESEARCHER: Oh.
MIKE: Is something wrong?
RESEARCHER: Oh, no no. Have you been trying for a baby for three years, had it been difficult?
SARAH: Err, no, we decided to focus on our careers first, I wanted to get ahead in the law firm....
MIKE: And I run my own quantity surveying agency...
SARAH: and then six months ago we decided the time was right, so I stopped taking my pill and within a fortnight....

MIKE: Boom! Positive result. Straight away! I thought the little soldiers might be a little nervous but no, pregnant at first go!
RESEARCHER: Oh.
SARAH: I'm sorry, you don't seem too enthused.
RESEARCHER: Well the thing is, you see, you two, I mean you seem lovely and everything but...
SARAH: But what?!
RESEARCHER: You're just not that interesting!
MIKE: Pardon?!
RESEARCHER: Well you're both very nice, but, well viewers don't want nice. They want lesbians brandishing turkey basters, or a barely legal teenager and her miracle baby against a back drop of heroin abuse and a boyfriend with a criminal record who might just get it together if only the community college would give him a place in that catering course his probation officer tells him he should probably do.
MIKE: But don't you want something ordinary? Show the viewers it doesn't have to be weird or problematic?
RESEARCHER: Quite frankly no.
SARAH: Oh.
RESEARCHER: Have you considered getting tattoos of the child's name across your forearms after the birth?
SARAH/MIKE: (HORRIFIED) No!

RESEARCHER: Ok, ok. Have either of you got a mystery illness?
SARAH: Don't think so.
RESEARCHER: Could we say that you have? The public really get behind a heart defect....
MIKE: I think we'll leave it, come on Sarah.
FX: FOOTSTEPS AND A SLAMMING DOOR
RESEARCHER: (SHOUTING) We could say you're rejected asylum seekers?

END

Peter both your sketches show that you have a great grasp of the format of both programs and you have clearly identified what can be exploited comedy wise.

But sadly the actual sketches come across more like working notes and a framework rather than actual completed sketches.

If you take the leap and presume that others understand the format and start from there it would much better.

The joke dawned very early that the couple were normal and then never really went anywhere.

However, it was a pleasant read which shows your dialogue skills are coming on.

Cheers Stephen, I suppose I thought the couples reaction alone would be funny and the production team lying to make them more exciting would do the same.

Teddy, I have presumed that the listener would understand the format, apart from the title, which wouldnt be broadcast, there's no mention to one born every minute in the sketch at all.
My working notes would be "channel 4 health documentaries use freak shows in their programmes, how would the production team cope with a normal person?"

The notes are funnier.

Ouch!

No I'm only messing,when some one sends a ball over like that you simply have to head it in!

I don't think it's bad Peter but it comes across as the downfall of a TV program that is scraping the barrel and that's an old format.

So in order to carry it off it has to be hilarious and much more far fetched otherwise it comes in with the rest

It was a good idea Pete. I think you could cut to the chase a bit quicker though as the intro seems a little long. The researcher is a good character and has strong personality. Sarah and Mike need some work though. At the moment they're just saying "no, no, no" effectively. Perhaps make them desperate to get on television and willing to go along with any of the researchers requests. Maybe they begin to take it to extreme lengths.

Thanks Ben, what if it was something like "we'll use you, but when you're in labour, don't push too hard, maybe don't try too much"

"Why?"

"We'll we haven't had an emergency caesareans in this series, we could get you into theatre, we could use it for the end of series cliffhanger, then you'd be exciting!"

Or is putting a labour at risk going to offend the mums net community?