PENNY
Carl I'm moving back to London
CARL
What the hell for lass?
PENNY
For Christ sake Carl we're the only two people with jobs in the whole bloody street! The town centres a wasteland; the only places left open are pawn brokers, pound shops and food banks and now everyone's accent has suddenly become deeper, it's all so bloody depressing
CARL
Aye there's no jobs lass and I'll admit the towns looked better, as for the accents they always go deeper once thy's down to thy pockets linings. But we'll come up with summat lass we always do!
PENNY
Carl I overheard you talking all northern with your friends last night, I know what you're planning.
CARL
That was the drink talking lass
PENNY
Was it Carl was it? Well it sounded to me like a firm commitment on your part and you'd only had a Pimms with brunch.
CARL
Happen I did agree lass,
PENNY
For god's sake stop calling me lass! My name's Penelope. And I won't stand by and watch you crash and burn, you stand to lose everything Carl just for some Northern ideal
CARL
These men need me and I can't let them down.
PENNY
For gods sake Carl you're a modern dance choreographer, what makes you so bloody indispensable to them?
CARL
I can organise them, I can plan everything to the last detail, I can set up a command structure I can...
PENNY
Carl, have you heard yourself? This is madness, we can move back to Hampstead and you can open a studio...
CARL
Nay lass this is t'right thing t'do!
PENNY
The right thing to do! Carl you're sinking our savings into a bloody musical film about a brass band made up of unemployed teenage hawk handlers that strip naked and play mill tunes while a kid in clogs ballet dances, it's been done Carl it's been done to death.
CARL
If thy has no faith in me lass than perhaps thy should get the bus back ta London.
PENNY
Carl I don't need a bloody bus we have a perfectly good Volvo on our driveway!
CARL
Nay lass thy can't take the motor car I'm going to need it to get over to Huddersfield Hawk auctions next Monday; We're filming the opening shot where all the lads get laid off and Willy Ulliot first dances in clogs.
PENNY
Sod off Carl!
