The wrong newspaper

here is the other sketch I wrote today, it's a bit dark I guess so I am not too sure about it, but they say there is comedy in tragedy right?

"The wrong newspaper"

A couple of young lads are remniscing about times gone by

Simon "Hey John, do you remember that van driver we phoned the how's my driving number on the back of?"

John "ah yeah mate, I had nearly forgotten about that! haha all because he had a copy of the daily mail on the dashboard"

Simon "wonder if his boss really did take action?"

flashback

The van driver is walking out of a newsagent talking to himself

"can't believe they sold out of the guardian, oh well this will have to do to read on my lunch break"

he looks at the copy of the daily mail he has just purchased, he jumps in to his van, puts the paper on the dash and sets off
a car drives passed and we cut to this car inside are the two boys previously mentioned, looking younger

Simon "hey John did you see he had a copy of the daily mail"

John "I hate the daily mail, its like the nazis newspaper, slow down so I can get the how's my driving number"

Simon "haha yeah good one"

switches to telephone call

Boss "hello rapido couriers"

John "Hi I would like to complain I have just seen one of your drivers go passed and I would like to say in reaction to the question asked on the back of his van, it is terrible"

Boss "sorry?"

John "the question being how's my driving"

Boss "oh right, well action will be taken, thankyou"

phone call ends

John "haha that'll teach him, daily mail, more like the hate mail"

switch to van driver in office with boss

Boss "I am sorry Charlie but we have to let you go"

Charlie "but boss I never drive badly, I am always careful and cautious"

Boss "I know Charlie, you have been of great service to this company, always dependable and reliable, good old Charlie, but it's the rules, if someone phones in and says your driving's bad, proof or not I'm afraid I have to let you go"

switch to charlie's house
sound of daytime television, maybe the this morning theme tune
Charlie opens and swigs from a can of beer

Charlie's wife (CW) "Charlie you need to do something, you can't live like this"

Charlie "but driving was my life it was all I ever knew"

CW "I'm leaving you and I'm taking the kids with me"

Charlie "but please...wait"

his wife leaves

Charlie "I'm nothing without my van"
Charlie shoots himself

cut back to the lads in present day

John "nah I'm sure nothing happened"

Simon "nah probably not"

There's quite a bit of exposition at the start. I don't think you need all the 'Do you remember when' bits or the comment about the Guardian being sold out.

I could see the end coming too. Perhaps think about putting some twists in and tightening the whole thing up, Julio.

That sketch has a really good if not wholly original idea, but still a goody.

Buried in exposition

Remember most humour in sketches comes from the intuitive leaps the audience makes.

So hack away at it until the audience actually have to do some guessing.

Thanks guys appreciate it, when I originally thought of the sketch, there was no like flashback or newspaper element it was simply about the knock on effect of such a small gesture, but I was trying to add bits so it was less dark, perhaps I should just do it simpler and not be afraid to go darker with it.

remember the more the audience are guessing and being surprised the more fun you can have