Jeremy's bile

hey guys

not sure if this is particularly funny,
have a look and all feedback is welcome:

"Jeremy's bile"

J "Do you have a job?"

Guest "well..."

J "of course you don't, you spend all day on your backside, hanging out with your mates, how many children do you have"

Guest "four"

J "four children, FOUR CHILDREN, I bet your council house is massive isn't, you can barely look after yourself, look at you, you should be at work now making money to look after those children and spending every other minute making up the time you have lost with them"

Guest "well excuse me but..."

J "did I say you could talk, I hadn't finished, I don't see your name on the door, this is the Jeremy Bile show and you'd do well to remember that young man, and what about him?"

Guest "who?"

J "who, the man who has brought you here today! he says you have forgotten all about him, he's sat right there, tell him how you feel"

Guest 2 "well I just feel that you have forgotten about me, its like I'm not even part of this relationship"

Guest "I'm sorry you feel that way Nick"

J (angry) "did I say you could talk yet, it doesn't say your name on the door does it? it doesn't say the David Cameron show does it"

Guest "No"

J "get off my stage, I don't want to see your face any longer, you go that way,(softly) Nick you go the other way and see Graham in aftercare"

sorry but fail; nothing original jeremy; bile, vile, paedophile, piles have all been done.

And Nick 'n Dave as gay lovers also old.

Problem with old jokes is they've all been done before. And way to much dialogue with out being funny

Appreciated, I just can't help think there is definitely a good parody of Jeremy kyle waiting to happen, can you point me in the direction of where I can see the Jeremy paedophile show? that sounds genius.

On a side note I wasn't trying to imply they were gay lovers, just that Nick had been forgotten about.

It's been done many times.

So you need a new angle. I mean supposing some couple was on the show that were so horrible he was forced to be nice?

Something that moves into fresher territory.

Also you need more "travelling jokes" the ones that fill in the space between the punchline and the intro.

So maybe to make him angry he has an assistant come on and give him a chilli enema, or punches him in the balls to make him red faced and angry.

How about a show where middle class people have to try to resolve their problems hosted by a teenage, unemployed, single mother?

And aftercare is a cheap disco with snakebite on special offer

now that is really good. Really good, write that sucker.

But remember more "travelling jokes" and less exposisition.

Thanks Sooty, I am literally going to start work on it now! I will work on the travelling jokes also.

First I just need a good name for the host...