Chav Doctor - sketch

Not one of my best but here it is for you to slag off.

INT. DOCTOR'S SURGERY. DAY.

A CHAV DRESSED IN THE NORMAL GARB WITH SOV RING AND BURBERRY CAP IS SITTING OPPOSITE THE DOCTOR.

Dr
Well Kevin, I'm glad you managed to take the time to come and see me. I have with me the results of your tests and I can finally give you an accurate diagnosis.

Chav
Okay Doc. Give it to me straight. I can take it.

Dr
I'm afraid that you're suffering from numeracy.

Chav
You f**kin' what?

Dr
And literacy.

Chav
You're having a f**kin' laugh.

Dr
I'm afraid there's no mistake. It's a very bad case of intelligence.

Chav
Are you sure?

Dr
It's all in your educational history. You didn't skip school and took all your GCSEs and A levels, narrowly missing out on University.

Chav
What am I gonna f**kin' do?

Dr
Well all is not lost. You should avoid polite conversation at all times and always end every sentence with the words "you slag". Try that for a few weeks until you start feeling a little more violent.

Chav
Will that cure me?

Dr
Once you've got to that point, try shagging the two fat stupid girls twice a day with plenty of alcohol until they both fall pregnant and avoid work at all times. That should put you well on the road to recovery by the time you get your dole money.

Chav
That's very kind of you Doctor.

Dr
Sorted mate…

Chav
…You slag.

Dr
My pleasure.

Chav
Twat.

Dr
That's more like it.

Ha, very good. I really like the idea for this sketch and I think you got the pace and the dialogue spot on. Nice one.

Thank you. I wasn't sure at first. I used to post a sketch a week but this is my first for awhile.

Fishter,

I think you've cracked it. This is your most complete sketch to date and the attention to pace, dialogue and construction shows. It didn't drag (always a good sign) and although I could see where this was going early on, it actually didn't take anything away. It was a bit like a 'Two Ronnies' sketch in that once you realised where it was going what you were looking for, and got, was a very satisfying payoff which I think you achieved here.

Excellent.

I'm always disheartened when sketches are motivated by snobbery but none of us are immune from it and this is a tight, clear, lively and funny sketch. Power to the fish!

Very good! Anything that takes the piss out of chav's is good in my book. Nice and punchy and well written. Well done

great sketch mate. you really nailed the charcterisation, and together with great dialouge, great sketch. well done

Good stuff. Personally I would alter the first Dr line, also the 3rd from last Dr line as they both seemed to deviate from the Dr role, but I'm probably being over picky. Liked it!

Thank you for all your feedback guys.

hehe I really like it! as has been said, the interaction and pace seems sorted! it reminds me of the clip on youtube of Chav beating...they may have got the rights to take it down now though

Just to go against the grain, wouldn't it be funnier to be more subversive? Isn't it slightly obvious to attack chavs for being pig ignorant, kind of like doing a sketch about a politician being a liar. How about a sketch where the chav is revealed to have moral character and standards? Thus inverting the stereotype? ...I may of course be talking twaddle.