Urban Bohemia - new ep pt 1. Feedback?

I haven't been around for a while - so remind me what it's like. Do your worst.
Urban Bohemia
Episode Four

Xander: (From off.) Give me that, that.

Lucy: (Off) Can you not snatch things!

(Xander sweeps in followed by Lucy.)

Xander: Where are we sitting? Where are we sitting? Why will they never put me next to Isabel Lucas?

Lucy: Probably because her actual boyfriend sits next to her.

Xander: I always end up next to Baz Luhrman, or Cate Blanchett....

Lucy: That's the kind of photo opportunity you'd normally kill for.

(Mel rises dishevelled, from behind the couch.)

Mel: Did someone say photo opportunity?

Xander: But you know Cate and Baz - it'll be questions, questions all night, fishing, note-taking - they don't even hide their pads.

Mel: I've made that mistake before - speaking of which, tell me about this photo opportunity.

Xander: We've been invited to the AFI awards.

(Vilma and Jac enter.)
Vilma: The AFIs?

Jac: Are we next to Isabel Lucas?

Xander: No.

Jac: Crap.

Vilma: They're boring as bat shit anyway - who needs them?

Lucy: What's the matter, Hugh Jackman a little too married for you?

Mel: Is it a football thing?

Xander: What?

Mel: The AFI awards?

Lily: No, you vapid little slut, it's the Australian Film Industry awards... and we go their every year
And it's boring.

Xander: We have to go, we're nominated - and we need the publicity.

Lucy: I agree, of course we're all going.

Vilma: What's this 'we', white girl?

Xander: Go and confirm, Lucy, dear.

Mel: And you say there'll be publicity?

Jac: Yes, all of the papers.

Mel: And magazines?

Jac: Oui.

Mel: And we go in a limousine and there'll be cameras and...

Vilma: Oh, for f**k's sake, yes!

Mel: I have to find a dress... I am so not wearing underwear to this!

(Mel runs out excitedly.)

Xander: It'll be like the Helpmann awards all over again.

Mel: Upstaged by her crotch.

Jac: It should have it's own agent

Xander: She's not as stupid as she looks.

Mel: She certainly showed her cunning that night.

Lucy: I've confirmed our table.

Vilma: Our table, yes our table as in Xander's table, my table, Jac's table, that dopey little harlot's table...
Lucy: So what... I'm not going?

Jac: Tres awkward.

Xander: Go and get the car ready, Jac.

(Jac exits.)

Lucy: Uncle Xander?

Xander: Well you don't just bring everyone to these things, Lucy dear - George Miller doesn't sit there with his secretary, Jack Thompson isn't sitting there with his PA.

Lucy: You're taking your PA.

Vilma: Let's not kid ourselves that Mel's a PA.

Xander: Please, just be reasonable about this. I mean, what would you even wear to something like this? Your wardrobe isn't anything like Mel's.

Lucy: No, I generally like to keep my arse covered!

Vilma: You should try that with your face as well!

Xander: I give up - can't she just come?

Vilma: No, Xander - this little piss-fart Cinderella here is just throwing a tantrum because she can't go to the ball.

Lucy: And who are you, the butt-ugly sister?

Vilma: That's it - I'm going to smack your face so hard...

Xander: No - Vilma! Just go and get ready... now.

Vilma: Go and clean the fireplace, you little shit-stain, and while you're there - stick your head up it!

(Vilma exits)

Xander: Well, thank you for getting her worked up like that. Now she'll be drunk before we even get there!

Lucy: When is she ever not drunk?

Xander: I have to go and get ready.

(Xander exits)

Lucy: There obviously aren't any Fairy Godmother's around here!

(Mel enters)

Mel: Hey, Luce, have you seen my magic mushrooms?

This is, as you can see, the first scene in an episode centred around an awards ceremony. It is something of a "Cinderella-gone-wrong" story for the reserved, well behaved Lucy. She ends up being lead astray by Mel and quite publicly humiliated (spoiler, I know, but I want to let you know what this is all about.).
Come on, someone must have a comment - there are a few of the best online!

Toddb I hope you don't mind me saying this as I've offered feedback on most of the stuff you write.

I got to the end of page one.

And realised that it's exactly the same drivel you always write.

I sincerely hope it makes some people happy.

I enjoyed that - fast and pacy, if a little hard to follow sometimes.

Not much to add from what I've said in the past.
The fast-paced dialogue is great - but there's no story to hang it onto.
In terms of plot it's "they're going to a party, but one of them's not going".
Now that's a hell of a lot of time to spend getting that across.

If I were you I would create a thoroughly over-the-top plot - proper life or death stuff - and put these characters in that situation.
Then their silly vanity and foibles will come to life - rather than have them just bitch away at each other.

Withnail needed to get out of the flat and be threatened by a shotgun wielding farmer and imminent buggery to make that film what it was.
Your character need the same sort of dynamic.

Thanks for all the feedback. Sootyj - always a pleasure, pleasing to see that a critic who does not love the script can appreciate that it might be entertaining to some. Beaky - I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Lazzard - erudite and constructive as usual. I have a few plots up my sleeve that may fit the bill - breaking into an arts minister's office, having the bar of their theatre held up and the escape of one of Xander's ex-wives from a lunatic asylum - so I'll be on that soon!

Well you certainly got a wide range of feedback this time.

I'd be of the opinion it maybe fun to see it performed. But in a cold reading sorry but there really aren't jokes or comedic structures.