Neil's Girlfriend
Okay, you've added in lots of swearing and political incorrectness. You can see the punchline coming a mile off, but to be fair the punchline isn't really the point of the sketch: it's about how far the boundaries of bad taste will be pushed before the "reveal" at the end. And this is actually a lot better than your earlier stuff: it's shorter, it's faster, and you're all much less selfconscious on camera.