British Comedy Guide

Shifty Shoots out of Town

We see a man putting a token in a shopping trolley.
He then follows a woman shopper and puts the exact same products as her into his trolley.

Then as the woman looks into a fridge he switches trollies and walks out. He then gets the pound coin out of the trolley and flicks it in the air and smirks.

We then see the man putting the pound coin into a machine and presses a button saying 'Platform Only Ticket £1'

The man then looks up at the board and identifies the London train. He then looks to see who else is looking and spots a man in a suit with a briefcase.

He watches as the man enters a Costa coffee and orders a latte, on seeing this
he walks swiftly into a Boots Chemist shop and palms a bottle of Syrup of Figs.

The man then walks over to where the man in the briefcase is sitting reading a paper with his coffee on the bench.

The man pours in the Syrup of Figs into the coffee and moves off.

The two men board the train and it starts up, the man takes a seat near the toilet.

Next minute the man with the briefcase is in a hell fire rush to use the toilet and is actually loosening is belt as he nears it.

Twenty seconds after the engage sign moves the man knocks on the door of the toilet.

Man
Bogus voice
"Tickets please"

Victim
"For gods sake give me five minutes"

Man
"I just have to be sure you have a ticket sir, you could slide the ticket under the door if you wish sir"

A ticket appears under the door, the man takes it and walks up the train smirking.

Euston London

We see the man walking past the man with the briefcase who is now in a severe state of undress and is being held by two burly ticket collectors.

The man then spots a woman on the platform they rush into each others arms.

Woman
"How long are you down for?"

Man
Looks at ticket
"I'm good for three days!"

Come on - then what happened?

He went home three days later, what he did in the interim is another sketch entirely.

It's the 'explainey' style of writing thing again I'm afraid, I find it takes away from what is a good idea and I could visualise the scenario...sypup of figs..yum ;)

A very good sketch .

Again it is more visual than anything, it was enjoyable to write so I'm happy with that and once agian thanks for the feedback.

Everton shield aside this made me laugh, very smart sketch, would like to see it visually for the full affect

would like to see other sketches where he keeps ruining the briefcase man's life in other situations - like the way Mr.Bean seems to have an ongoing feud with 'that blue car'

There's nothing wrong with my Everton Badge and thanks for the feedback.

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