Narrator: How many Philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?
Philosopher 1: Well first I think it’s important that we understand exactly what question it is we’re asking, I mean what exactly do we mean by “change”?
Philosopher 2: No no no, change is obvious but in order to discover whether 2 objects at different points in their temporal existence are identical with each other or different, we first need to discern what makes an object that kind of object. In other words we clearly need to define “light bulb” and then change will become obvious.
Philosopher 3: You people with your la dee da definitions and the like, clearly all we need to do is give a sufficient analysis of what it would be for a light bulb to have changed and then perform empirical tests to see the average number of philosophers who can achieve such a task.
Philosopher 1: Ohno I don’t like the idea of that, empirical tests? Bit close to science there aren’t you mate? Do you want to make us all redundant?
Philosopher 3: Good point, and actually now I come to think of it, are we really asking a “how many” question at all? I mean we want a reason for our answer otherwise it’s just a meaningless number, I think that actually we’re asking a kind of “why” question.
Philosopher 1: Good point, well I think clearly at this point it might be an idea to look at the salient features of a change, it seems to me that change is going from one state of affairs to another, a sort of crossing if you will.
Philosopher 2: Yes that seems about right, now what about “light bulb”, well it needs changing so it’s sort of cold and grey…………..and if you don’t replace and maintain it often people have accidents and bump into each other.
Philosopher 1: That makes it quite similar to a road in some ways.
Philosopher 3: Wait wait wait a minute, we haven’t defined philosophers yet. Without that we’ve just got how many things does it take to change a light bulb, and that’s just nonsensical rubbish, not the sort of thing philosophers should be engaged in at all.
Philosopher 1: So what makes a philosopher a philosopher?
Philosopher 3: Well we wander around in a daze not doing very much.
Philosopher 2: And we usually end up squalking on in a way that nobody can actually understand.
Philosopher 1: And if you follow Sorites we’re obsessed with grains, Philsophers are a lot like chickens really!
Philosopher 3: So we’re asking a kind of why question, change is a kind of crossing, light bulb is like a road and philosophers are a bit like chickens, it’s so obvious…………………………….How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb, to get to the other side. Another philosophical mystery successfully solved