"Hello Security. I am an arsonist, with a big box of matches. Please can I come in to set fire to the staff"
(door releases)
"Unbelievable"
Best Alan Partridge quote or scene Page 7
My favourite still remains Linehan/Mathews cameo though, absolutely brill 
Also:
"Geordie...people"
"Something else in geordie"
"Hey, there's a little japanese soldier in here still fighting the war"
"you daft racist."
[continues to sing] "Curly black and kinky.."
From the Alpha Papa Trailer:
Alan: I am Seige Face
Crash! Bang! Wallop! What A Video! http://youtu.be/j4Av4xAV600
Alan Partridge and the sex people http://youtu.be/noTjI3CloYk
"Lynn, how long did you put this on for?"
"8 minutes"
"It's hotter than the sun!"
DAN!
The cone conversation with Dave Clifton from Basic Alan:
Alan: That was The Police 'Doo Doo Doo Daa Daa Daa', their gibberish classic, and my tribute to Her Majesty's police. It's nearly seven o'clock. This is Dave Clifton.
Dave: Yes, indeed! Good morning, my name's Dave Clifton, and there goes Alan Partridge, cone but not forgotten!
[Alan forces an appreciative groan, and laughs.]
Dave: You off to see a film, like Cone-an the Barbarian?
Alan:[Slightly annoyed, but still playing along] Yeah, good one.
Dave: Then watch a bit of TV, eh? Like Cone Dancing?
Alan: Yeah. Not so good, but fine.
Dave: Oh, come on Alan. What's the matter with you? Cone't you take a joke?
Alan: Oh, f**k off.
[Dave stares in shocked silence for a second, then regains himself.]
Dave: Actually, I am speechless. Dave Clifton is actually speechless. I don't believe you just said that.
Alan: You don't sound it. I wish you were.
Dave: Well I am. Now, I really don't know what to say. I find it really difficult to find a way -
Alan: [Interrupting] Try saying nothing!
Dave: You and I both know that dead air is a crime, and I think it's terrible that you have to fill it with swearing on your show.
Alan: Unfortunately, Dave, you are bang wrong. It's one minute past seven, it's your show, you're responsible for the output, I am technically a guest and you've failed to control me. Read the small print on your cone-tract.
[Dave looks annoyed.]
Dave: From 'Go West' -
Alan: - Fanny -
Dave: This is 'Call Me'.
Alan:
You work in a petrol station Michael. It's not the Gulf War. Which ironically is like a large petrol station.
Quote: yardrs @ August 12 2013, 11:10 PM BSTAlan: Unfortunately, Dave, you are bang wrong. It's one minute past seven, it's your show, you're responsible for the output, I am technically a guest and you've failed to control me. Read the small print on your cone-tract.
I love it when Alan actually comes out the winner.
Alan:
I'm gonna hump ya Like Deputy Dawg would hump ya
Michael: This hasn't been cleaned out for years. Hey, there's a little Japanese soldier in here still fightin' the war
My favourite line is Partridge discussing U2's 'Sunday Bloody Sunday'.
My favourite episode/scene would be where he is in the house of the obsessed fan.
Quote: yardrs @ August 12 2013, 11:10 PM BSTThe cone conversation with Dave Clifton from Basic Alan:
Alan: That was The Police 'Doo Doo Doo Daa Daa Daa', their gibberish classic, and my tribute to Her Majesty's police. It's nearly seven o'clock. This is Dave Clifton.
Dave: Yes, indeed! Good morning, my name's Dave Clifton, and there goes Alan Partridge, cone but not forgotten!
[Alan forces an appreciative groan, and laughs.]
Dave: You off to see a film, like Cone-an the Barbarian?
Alan:[Slightly annoyed, but still playing along] Yeah, good one.
Dave: Then watch a bit of TV, eh? Like Cone Dancing?
Alan: Yeah. Not so good, but fine.
Dave: Oh, come on Alan. What's the matter with you? Cone't you take a joke?
Alan: Oh, f**k off.
[Dave stares in shocked silence for a second, then regains himself.]
Dave: Actually, I am speechless. Dave Clifton is actually speechless. I don't believe you just said that.
Alan: You don't sound it. I wish you were.
Dave: Well I am. Now, I really don't know what to say. I find it really difficult to find a way -
Alan: [Interrupting] Try saying nothing!
Dave: You and I both know that dead air is a crime, and I think it's terrible that you have to fill it with swearing on your show.
Alan: Unfortunately, Dave, you are bang wrong. It's one minute past seven, it's your show, you're responsible for the output, I am technically a guest and you've failed to control me. Read the small print on your cone-tract.
[Dave looks annoyed.]
Dave: From 'Go West' -
Alan: - Fanny -
Dave: This is 'Call Me'.
Some of the scenes on series one of IAP are simply some of the greatest bits of British comedy ever written IMO
And that scene is a prime example
Everything about it, everything, is utter perfection
How can you like this? Everything about this was awful IMO. Also the film was terrible. Steve Coogan could of wrote something better.
The scene in the film where Alan accidentally leaves the siege and attempts to climb back in is very funny stuff.
ooh bit of bush stop getting bond wrong