OK, in 50 words (ish), what's the funniest non-urban myth story about one of your friends? Please no names!
Funniest story about friend
One night a friend of mine got totally mashed (I think t'were his birthday), and while passed out, his 'friends' put make up on him, a pair of red stilettos, stuck a french stick up his arse, then took a photo for posterity.
To add insult to injury, the following morning when said friend revealed that he had no recollection whatsoever of the previous nights events, he was 'kindly' offered breakfast of... you guessed it - toasted french stick!
He only found out what had happened when the photo of him in a compromising position was pinned onto the dart board of the pub he worked at!!
And that is why no one with half a brain cell would ever drink. 
My first ever flatmate (who wasn't very nice) came home drunk one Guy Fawks night and my friends and I were out in the front garden playing with sparklers. She moaned that she need to wee - All she had to do was go through the front door at the toilet was the first door she would come to. My friend, Brum joked "Why don't you go on the doorstep?". Guess what? Oh she did! Brum took a pic on her digital camera while I died of shame and all the men suddenly needed to look intensely at a brick.
Anyway, two weeks go by and Brum's Camera stops working. She takes it into the photo shop to sort it out. The man behind the counter suggests it may be the card and sticks it into a machine to scan through her pics. The first pic that appear on the massive screen behind the till was - you guessed it - my insane peeing flatmate. Brum had totally forgotten about it. She said the look the man gave her was one of total pervy respect. She soon bought one of those photo printers after that!
Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at large. @ August 9, 2007, 11:21 PMBrum took a pic on her digital camera while I died of shame and all the men suddenly needed to look intensely at a brick.
She took a dump aswell? Thats just taking the piss
A female friend spent 2 hours in a club clinching me, vice-like, because she was having a bad time on her ecstasy pill. When the good vibes kicked in she danced and gurned like a loon for 3 hours. Back at my mate's house, her and her mate staged tit-measuring contests. Later, she gave my friend a blow job as he swigged wine from a bottle. In the morning she was slumped on the couch. My mate opened up his washing machine and found her knickers in there with a big lump of poo attached.
This was 10 years ago -I have seen her once since. A lifetime of shame in one night!
What a classy bird.
I had a friend who met a gorgeous girl in a red dress at a night club. As they were leaving, he rushed to the toilet. On his way back he noticed she wasn't there. His pal said she had walked down the stairs.
He rushed off, tripped and fell down the stairs. The next thing he remembers is waking up in the morning in his bed with a hangover. He goes to the shops and see's his pal from the previous night. I've got her number, maybe I'll give her a call.
Don't do that his friend replied, when you fell down the stairs, you hit her half way down. She fell, and broke her arm.
Sorry, slightly more than 50 words.
What? They all (so far) involve alcohol? For shame... 
But seriously... does nothing funny ever happen without the need for mind altering chemicals?
It's a point. There are many categories that spring to mind which are not booze/drug-realted. Sexual/wanking misadventures, embarrassing work faux pas, people getting the disatrously wrong end of the stick; verbal confusion, pranks gone wrong (and right!), celeb encounters, odd family traits and histories..
Just life, rally -there's plenty! Come on, Darren, you look like a man who has ended up on the Sex Offenders' Register after innocently urinating on some schoolgirls hiding in some bushes, earning you the nickname, 'Golden Goldsmith'?!
Regarding celeb encounters, I was vox-popped last year by Gordon Ramsay, which wasn't that embarrassing in itself, except I was sat on a bench in town holding a bright orange childs fishing net at the time - I must have looked like a typical local (I live in Norfolk).
He even asked if it was for cockles or mussels. (Luckily I hit the cutting room floor).
One of my friends had some of my other friends over to camp in her garden-I was glad I didnt get invited in the end, because she now famously took a dump in a bush whilst VERY drunk...one of the people who *did* attend, said-"can you imagine going to the loo in public like that!?" only a few months later to come with me, another friend, and the first mentioned friend to see My Chemical Romance at Wembley Arena...and to join the first mentioned friend in drinking vodka then peeing in the fountain...everyone looked at us on the tube-and they were exiled to the back seat of the car afterwards!
At least they didnt follow the first plan, and jump off the barrier in the hope that Gerard and co. would come to see them in first aid, as they famously do...
that was a nightmare concert, actually...people got carried out of standing collapsed before MCR even got onstage! at least we were seated-and allowed to stand as we were mistaken for the street team
IT. WAS. SO. AWESOME! but not the peeing...
haha I needed WAY more than 50 in the end
There was a boy at my school who thought he was my best friend and he followed me everywhere. One day I saw my chance and ran over the road to catch a bus that was coming down the hill. I shouted to my pal who was a little bit behind me, "quick mate run and catch this bus!" Anyway, the bus hit him full on and that was it really.
youre kidding? 