Debt Quickie

Too quick? Done before in some way?

Ext. Front of House

A 'heavy' looking man with a crewcut is holding a meek looking man by the collar.

Heavy:
NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME! I'VE GIVEN YOU CHANCE AFTER CHANCE TO PAY, SO YOU BETTER STICK YOUR HAND IN YOUR POCKET AND PAY UP BEFORE I GET REALLY ANGRY!

Man:
Ok! Ok! I'll pay! How much is it?!

Heavy:
(LOOKS ROUND) Doris! How much is it?

Doris, a mild mannered lady in a cardigan, appears from behind the heavy.

Doris:
Well the book was returned 3 days late, so that's 90p.

ENDS

Since the invention of the Kindle, I have not had a book from the library so I have no idea how much the fine is. Is it 90p for 3 days late.
However, It's a nice little tale

I quite liked it.It would be funnier, for me, though if the old lady/young man characters were reversed.

I assume you meant the last line to be spoken by Doris.

I think it needs another twist. Maybe the little-old-librarian Doris bemoans the changes brought about by staffing the library with volunteers from the Big Society.

Yes, I did mean it to be Doris. Not sure what happened there.

I did come up with an alternate sketch where the library was under new management and Doris was essentially being sent out as the 'heavy' to collect fines with extortionate interest rates, but I couldn't come up with an ending.

It needs a reason to exist. Like, it needs context. It would make a great poster for a library. But on it's own, it's just a slightly amusing image.

Bit too quickie, I think.

Nice idea, but I agree with the other posts (Yes I know this is three weeks later, and perhaps rather pointless).
Maybe if you had held out for the reveal by developing more dialogue between the heavy and the man, perhaps hinting at a large sum of money lost in a card game or a drug debt then reveal Doris.

I'm sure you've rewritten this sketch now anyway...