I liked this sketch. You have very good writing skills. The twists worked fine for me. The last twist really topped the quality of the sketch for me.
Only little thing I thought about is Filthy Bitch's (How did my Ex end up I your sketch!?!) reaction to the man's deceit. If she was to live up to her name, she properly would have found it exciting that his wife came by.
Good work
That's some nice praise, Johnny. Thanks!
I like your writing style too Ben, that's why I always read your sketches. They're very non-messy and flow well.
Thanking you too, Lee. It was all rather messy in the early days, but plugging away at it helped.
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ March 19 2013, 8:55 PM GMT\/ to you too
I appear to have stumbled upon the re-incarnation of Oscar Wilde. Of course you removed the body of my post - I wasn't just randomly insulting you I was using invective to stress how vehemently I disagreed with your point. Without 'dissection' art is not possible. You c**t.
Quote: Lee @ March 19 2013, 10:15 PM GMTI like your writing style too Ben, that's why I always read your sketches. They're very non-messy and flow well.
Ben writes very well, and I would make an effort to read anything by him but this sketch is a fail. And all this encouragement from people is not helping him.
Quote: Godot Taxis @ March 19 2013, 11:32 PM GMTall this encouragement from people is not helping him.
He'll only spend the enouragement on booze. Give your encouragement to a recognised encouragement agency, who can help him to change his ways, and get him off street comedy and into comedy society.
Just so yiou know, I honestly thought this skecth was interesting amusing, I wasn't just being nice.
I am with Godot to an extent. If it was a quick wham bam sketch it would work a lot better.
Just a quick in and out?
Thats it. THen you laugh. Once the gag is done it is kind of done.
Quote: Marc P @ March 20 2013, 10:48 AM GMTI am with Godot to an extent. If it was a quick wham bam sketch it would work a lot better.
I'm with Marc. But I like the no frills writing style Ben.
I don't think the sketch makes sense. Sorry.
Quote: Badge @ March 20 2013, 3:13 PM GMTI don't think the sketch makes sense. Sorry.
Ditto.
Quote: gappy @ March 20 2013, 9:57 AM GMTHe'll only spend the enouragement on booze. Give your encouragement to a recognised encouragement agency, who can help him to change his ways, and get him off street comedy and into comedy society.
I liked the sketch, I was intrigued by the swap of emotions, but I agree it didn't feel as coherent as it could have. I definitely think you should play around with it some more because it's a great premise, but I want you to put on a beret and ask 'what is their motivation?' 
Thanks for the many, many, many comments!
Personally, I still like the sketch, but that's by the by and I'm not going to defend it like an angry mother.
I'm more intrigued as to why it's garnered such a response on here. Most things in critique struggle to break the 20 post barrier unless chat goes off topic or a slagging match ensues - which hasn't happened here.
Once there's a critical mass more people look.