JUSTIN - Before the trial of Vicky Pryce I thought marital coercion was when my wife tricks me into washing up, but apparently it's a very weak defence which I learned when Miss Pryce was found guilty of perverting the course of justice. Although this is her first conviction our sources suggest a history of this behaviour to find out more let's delve into the archive
BLANCHE - Hello I'm Blanche Out the journalist of Plains Farm Primary school paper. Today is special because it's my seventh birthday- hurrah me for letting time pass me by. And also I've got an exclusive interview with my class mate Vicky Pryce. So what's the story, Vicky?
VICKY - Don't forget you pinky swore to keep my name out of it and we know what happens if you break a pinky promise
BOTH - (Rhythmically) If you do you'll catch the flu and that will be the end of you
VICKY - Okay. I have a story that will change the way you look at your beloved prefect - not the head prefect but he's still a big deal. He's my boyfriend and he did something so bad it will end his prefect career
BLANCHE - Oh my god! You have a boyfriend? (Disgusted sound) Do you kiss him? (Makes kissing noise)
VICKY - I did until I saw him playing kiss chase with another girl. He told me she was a Rolling Stones fan and everyone knows Beatles and Rolling stones fans don't mix - but she says she likes both bands
BLANCHE - He's a cheater
VICKY - That's why I'm here. He also cheated at the hide and seek tournament. I should know I helped him
BLANCHE - So you both broke the rules?
VICKY - Yes and no. Yes for him. No for me. Do you want the full story or not?
BLANCHE - Fine. How did you do it?
VICKY - I hid in a tree and showed him where the other boy was hiding. He still couldn't find him I had to him three points!
BLANCHE - That's terrible. People need to know. I can see the headline now "Vicky Pryce tells all"
VICKY - But you said I could be (Mispronounces) anonymous
BLANCHE - I also said I wouldn't tap those paper cups and a piece of string you use for a phone. I'm a journalist.
END