Quote: Jonnners @ March 10 2013, 5:24 PM GMTThanks, but I never moved it into here.
I didn't refer to you moving it in my post.
Oh... Ha Ha
A Good Tug Page 2
Thats wierd. Care to expand on that please? I posted a crude comedy story in the hope that it would provoke some reaction and to see what would happen. It has caused a reaction but some of the comments are insulting and difficult to understand. I am a total newcomer so what exactly is the spirit and intent of these forums please?
If you're asking why it was moved, pieces of writing go in the Critique or Showcase forums. 
Quote: Jonnners @ March 10 2013, 5:34 PM GMTThats wierd. Care to expand on that please? I posted a crude comedy story in the hope that it would provoke some reaction and to see what would happen. It has caused a reaction but some of the comments are insulting and difficult to understand. I am a total newcomer so what exactly is the spirit and intent of these forums please?
It could be Because you didn't introduce yourself in the welcome section before you jizzed all over their nice shiny forum.
Quote: Jonnners @ March 10 2013, 5:34 PM GMTThats wierd. Care to expand on that please? I posted a crude comedy story in the hope that it would provoke some reaction
If you want to post a crude piece of writing and then control the level of hostility towards it I think you may have missed the point of internet forums. Try starting your own website then you can control as much as you like.
Personal verdict:- School boy humour and that's being kind.
Thank-you for your comments. I think I'll give this forum a miss in future. I don't care about controlling comments only that there should be respect and intelligence behind them. I take it you have missed the point completely in this respect and simply want to show the world how train-spottingly good you are with safe and established comedy styles. I think it makes a mockery of innovation in this forum and reduces it to nothing more than a cacky, cliquey old-hat mutual admiration society. Punk Rock was termed crude in the late 70s but it was an innovative style that had a well-needed revolutionary impact on pop music. To be insulting to an author because you don't like their style is weak-minded and dull in my oppinion. If you don't like my contribution, say so and tell me why. Thank-you.
Quote: Jonnners @ March 10 2013, 6:55 PM GMTThank-you for your comments. I think I'll give this forum a miss in future. I don't care about controlling comments only that there should be respect and intelligence behind them. I take it you have missed the point completely in this respect and simply want to show the world how train-spottingly good you are with safe and established comedy styles. I think it makes a mockery of innovation in this forum and reduces it to nothing more than a cacky, cliquey old-hat mutual admiration society. Punk Rock was termed crude in the late 70s but it was an innovative style that had a well-needed revolutionary impact on pop music. To be insulting to an author because you don't like their style is weak-minded and dull in my oppinion. If you don't like my contribution, say so and tell me why. Thank-you.
There are so many things that are wrong in that post it's difficult to know where to begin... So I won't.
You did get comments on your original post though from myself and, at least, one other. These, of course, just being our own opinions and not representative of the views of the 'clique'
Mentioning punk makes me think you see yourself as the Jonnners Rotten of comedy ( see what I did? ) but, seriously, do you think a mish mash of terrible OLD jokes and different terms for masturbation as a lead up to a little Russian roulette wank joke that doesn't make any sense, as you have written it, is so far ahead of it's time it's us that must be too stupid to 'get' it?
What reaction were you hoping for? It's waffling, badly written, bits of very old jokes and unfunny... And if you were hoping for shocking it's far too tame. This is just my opinion.
Eh Jonnners, Maybe you should spin it around and turn it in to a sketch. 
Thanks for the sketch idea. I wish I knew where to begin on that as Im a complete beginner here. I will look into this. I like the work of the League of Gentlemen and could possibly learn from them?
As for the damning comment about so many things wrong with it etc., I've told you a million times, don't exagerate. By that I mean, you are still being insulting unless you actually identify what it is that is wrong to help me. Dont you think you have fallen into the trap of judging a person by their first attempts at (crude) comedy writing, simply because it was crude and provocative? It was waffly? Yes, I suppose so, but there are waffly comedians who are successful so why is this wrong? Thats the steer I need. Do you guys have a special little book entitled 'Rules of Comedy Writing'? If writing is an art based in free expression then those who make rules are surely regressive?? Thank-you for your time anyway. I'll try and extract something useful from your comments.
The humour is childish. That's the main problem. If you're going to do something about wanking then you need to be original and put a new slant on it. I must admit that I started writing very crude material, but then I found my way.
Congratulations, Jonnners, you just got recognised by the Academy for their 'Will You Ever F**king Listen?" category!
Ok, Ok I humbly accept that I f**ked up on my first attempt. But I certainly got stuck in an learned a thing or two in a short time, so please forgive me if I don't feel 100% remorse (probably about 60% remorse, and 40% 'want to try again'). Everyone gets started somewhere, no matter how childish, crude and waffly. To never make a mistake is to learn nothing y'know. Ha ha.
What exactly are "The Rules of Comedy". Do I have to join the funny handshake club to find this out you cliquey blighters? 
I found the monologue phenomenally erotic...that was the idea, right?
Quote: Jonnners @ March 10 2013, 6:55 PM GMTThank-you for your comments. I think I'll give this forum a miss in future. I don't care about controlling comments only that there should be respect and intelligence behind them. I take it you have missed the point completely in this respect and simply want to show the world how train-spottingly good you are with safe and established comedy styles. I think it makes a mockery of innovation in this forum and reduces it to nothing more than a cacky, cliquey old-hat mutual admiration society. Punk Rock was termed crude in the late 70s but it was an innovative style that had a well-needed revolutionary impact on pop music. To be insulting to an author because you don't like their style is weak-minded and dull in my oppinion. If you don't like my contribution, say so and tell me why. Thank-you.
I think, crucially, the first wave of punks never got a bit miffed when people didn't like what they'd done.
As it happens, I thought the "bad and soaring" pun was rather clever.
Quote: gappy @ March 11 2013, 9:40 AM GMTI found the monologue phenomenally erotic...that was the idea, right?
I think, crucially, the first wave of punks never got a bit miffed when people didn't like what they'd done.
As it happens, I thought the "bad and soaring" pun was rather clever.
Like it.
Quote: Ben @ March 11 2013, 7:49 AM GMTThe humour is childish. That's the main problem. If you're going to do something about wanking then you need to be original and put a new slant on it. I must admit that I started writing very crude material, but then I found my way.
Thanks, Id like to see some of your work. Maybe I could pick up how you evolved away from crude, ifthat's what it takes. Where do I look?
I didn't like how you immediately wanted to make it clear that there was nothing at all gay in your fantasy - why, would that be too shocking?