INT. A SCOTTISH PHARMACY
PHARMACIST:
Now, before I give you your pills, there's something I need to ask you. Which is better - Trainspotting or Braveheart?
ENGLISHMAN:
(FAKE SCOTTISH ACCENT) Err... Braveheart?
PHARMACIST:
Oh, praise the Lord! I won't be having to chuck you out after all.
ENGLISHMAN:
Excuse me?
PHARMACIST:
You see, no true Scotsman would've said Trainspotting. And it's only true Scotsmen who're entitled to free prescriptions.
ENGLISHMAN:
What, so you thought I was trying it on?
PHARMACIST:
It's nothing personal, dearie - believe me!
ENGLISHMAN:
Then why say it?
PHARMACIST:
Listen, if you think we're tight - you should see some of the English that come in here.
ENGLISHMAN:
But they can't be tighter than us - surely?
PHARMACIST:
Oh, they're in a different league! Some come from as far afield as Cornwall - just to try and save eight quid.
ENGLISHMAN:
Yeah, but you cannae fault them for effort though - can you?
PHARMACIST:
Aye - but you can for stupidity! I mean; their travel costs alone are usually ten times the price of their medication.
ENGLISHMAN:
(IN HIS REAL CORNISH ACCENT) Oh Christ, I hadn't thought of it like that!
