JUSTIN:
I was once the unintended recipient of a naughty text message. Although to her credit, my wife did eventually apologise.
However, she's not the only person to have committed this particular schoolboy error, with new research revealing that one in seven of us have compromised our dignity in this way.
Thankfully, though - help is at hand! With a new CD box set promising to make us all masters of damage limitation.
GRAMS: TYPICAL INSTRUCTIONAL CD MUSIC
WOMAN:
So, you're a...
MAN:
Woman.
WOMAN:
Who sent a photo of your...
MAN:
Breasts.
WOMAN:
To the wrong recipient. But don't worry, because with our tailor-made scripts, you'll be handling the fall-out like a...
MAN:
Labour party spin doctor.
WOMAN:
If you sent the photo to your ex, tell them...
MAN:
'Here's two reasons why you shouldn't have dumped me - loser!'
WOMAN:
Your adult son or daughter...
MAN:
'They used to be pert before you came along!'
WOMAN:
Your prepubescent son or daughter....
MAN:
'Please - don't mention this to daddy!'
WOMAN:
Your GP...
MAN:
'I think my humps are free of lumps - but I wouldn't mind a second opinion.'
WOMAN:
Your milkman...
MAN:
'Cancel tomorrow's delivery. I've got enough to last me a week.'
WOMAN:
Katie Price...
MAN:
'Just a reminder of how breasts are supposed to look.'
WOMAN:
And finally - your mother-in-law...
MAN:
'See, we have got something in common after all! Your son's sucked on both of our nipples!'
