Right Then. My Favourite quote would have to be from "Waldorf Salad" where Basil says "Typical. Absolutely Typical. The Kind of... Arse! I have to put up with from you people , you ponce in here expecting to be waited on hand and foot. Im Trying to run a hotel here!"
Comedy GOLD!!! 
What's Your favourite?
in "THE PSYCHIATRIST"
Basil caught Sybil flirting with a younger guest:
Basil: Charming eh? Well he's certainly covered in charms. I've never seen so many medals around one neck in my life. He must be the bravest orang-utan in Britain. What's the point of decorating yourself like that?
Sybil: They're not just for decoration. They have symbolic meaning.
Basil: Sybil that type would wear a dog turd round its neck if it was made of gold.
From The Germans:
Basil: Don't touch me! I don't know where you been?
Basil: My God, you're ugly, aren't you?
Sybil: Basil!
Nurse: I'll... I'll get a doctor.
Basil: You need a plastic surgeon, dear, not a doctor.
German Guest: Entshuldigen sie, bitte, können sie Deutsch sprechen?
Basil: I'm sorry, could you say that again?
German Guest: You speak German?
Basil: Oh, German, I I'm sorry, I thought there was something wrong with you!
Old Ladies: We don't think you're well, Mr. Fawlty.
Basil: Oh, well, perhaps not, but I'll live longer than you!
German Guest: Will you stop talking about the war?
Basil: Me? You started it!
German Guest: We did not start it!
Basil: Yes you did, you invaded Poland!
"Racket? That's Brahms!" (Shouts) "Brahms' Third Racket!"
The nonsense between Mrs Richards and Manuel about the manager- C K Watt who's 40.
How did you become two doctors? ...Did you take the exam twice?
Japo-Scandinavian imitation veal substitute.
Manuel: You Orelly men? .........
......O'Reilly: You've heard of the genius of the lamp, Mrs Fawlty? Well that's me
Sybil: You think I'm joking don't you?
Basil: Oh don't smile
Sybil: Why are you smiling?
O'Reilly: Well, to be perfectly honest, Mrs Fawlty, I like a woman with spirit.
Sybil: Oh do you? Is that what you like?
O'Reilly: I do, I do.
Sybil: (picks up a golfing umbrella & wallops him) O'Reilly, I have seen more intelligent creatures than you lying on their backs at the bottom of ponds. I have seen better organised creatures than you running round farmyards with their heads cut off...
He no here . . look . .
In "Hotel Inspectors":
"Sp...*spits*...oons!"
Deaf Mrs Richardson wanting some toilet paper and Polly mistaking it for writing paper
Mrs. Richards:
Girl, there's no paper in my room. Why don't you check these things? That's what you're being paid for, isn't it?
Polly:
We don't put it in the rooms.
Mrs. Richards:
What?
Polly:
Well, we keep it in the lounge.
Mrs. Richards: [aghast]
In the lounge?
Polly:
I'll get you some. Do you want plain ones or ones with our address on it?
Mrs. Richards:
Address on it?
Polly:
How many sheets? Well, how many are you going to use?
Mrs. Richards: [furiously banging the desk bell]
Manager!
BASIL: "Voom! What was that ? That was your life, mate. That was quick, do I get another ? Sorry mate, that's your lot."
I'm just going for a quiet cry now 
From "Basil The Rat":
Basil's reply to the endless list of deficiencies read out by the hotel inspector:
"Otherwise OK?"
http://www.lucidenglish.com/2010/09/inspectors-monologue-from-rat.html
Mrs Richards: And another thing - I asked for a room with a view.
Basil: (to himself) Deaf, mad and blind. This is the view as far as I can remember, madam. Yes, this is it.
Mrs Richards: When I pay for a view I expect something more interesting than that.
Basil: That is Torquay, Madam.
Mrs Richards: Well, it's not good enough.
Basil: Well ... may I ask what you were hoping to see out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? Sydney Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeeste sweeping majestically ... ?
Mrs Richards: Don't be silly. I expect to be able to see the sea.
Basil: You can see the sea. It's over there between the land and the sky
Mrs Richards: I'd need a telescope to see that.
Basil Fawlty: Well perhaps you should consider moving to a hotel closer to the sea. Or preferably in it.
"Is this a piece of your brain?"
