Date Sketch

Int. Pub

Dennis and Julie are sat at the bar with a drink each.

Julie:
I've never been on a blind date before, so excuse me if I'm a little nervous!

Dennis:
It's ok, don't worry. I actually find it helps me to relax by pretending we've been going out for years.

Julie:
Don't you find that makes you a bit too over familiar? Dennis? Dennis?

Dennis is busy playing with his phone.

Dennis:
Just checking the football scores. I'll take the bins out in a minute.

Julie:
No, I was saying, doesn't it make you a bit too-

Dennis:
I said: I'm checking the football scores! I'll take the bins out IN A MINUTE!

Julie:
Look, maybe this was a bad idea. I think I'm going to go.

Dennis:
Oh I see. I see. Going to bed because, ONCE AGAIN, you've got one of your 'headaches'.

Julie:
Ok, I'm going.

Dennis grabs Julie by the hand as she tries to leave.

Dennis:
No, don't go! Not now! Not after all we've been through! I mean, you've gotta believe me, it didn't mean a thing to me. And how was I supposed to know she was your sister?

Julie storms out. Dennis begins sobbing, but suddenly he's tapped on the shoulder. It's Julie.

Julie:
(TEARY) I don't know why, but I just keep coming back. Time and time again.

Dennis:
To be honest, love, at the minute, I'm not really looking for a relationship.

Dennis downs his pint and then downs Julie's glass of wine before leaving.

ENDS

I like the idea but it escalates too quickly, especially at the end. His last line about "not really looking for a relationship" doesn't fit in, although it's a nice bit, it doesn't feel like it got to that point naturally.

Actually, is this a rip on that advert where a couple whiz through their relationship?

I didn't really want to hang round on it, so did zip through it really quickly.

I'm not sure which advert you're referring too, but I did feel that maybe the idea had probably been explored before.

Highly enjoyable premise but I agree that it escalates too quickly - I want to enjoy it more. Also the last line, though funny, seems a bit pat and doesn't really fit in with his earlier extreme approach to blind dating.

Quote: Ben @ February 26 2013, 11:05 PM GMT

I'm not sure which advert you're referring too

View original

I can't remember (not very effective advertising) but when I see it again, I'll let you know because it really is quite similar in style.

Well the moral seems to be that I should make this one a bit longer and give it room to breathe. Will come back to it at some point.

I like the twist at the end when Julie joins in on the idea.

That's really good a clever idea, nice twist punch, funny, good characters and no fat.

The only thing is ditch the intro or maybe stick it in later. The ideas got enough legs to run with out it,

Thanks, chaps.