British Comedy Guide

Ring Toss Sketch

Ext. Fairground

A stallholder is stood at his ring toss game which is swamped with cuddly toys. A man and woman walk past.

Stallholder:
Win something nice for your good lady wife, sir! Five rings for a pound!

Woman:
Go on. Have a go. I want one of those gorillas.

Man:
These things are a fix. You can't actually win.

Woman:
I want one of those gorillas!

Man:
Ok, ok! Give me five rings!

The man gives money to the stallholder and gets given five tiny rings.

Man:
They're never going to go over those posts!

The posts are revealed to be a half a foot each.

Stallholder:
Sure they will, squire, but it's all in the wrist. Look.

The stallholder picks up a hula hoop, checks the wind, steadies his hand and then throws the hoop over one of the posts with ease.

Woman:
See, it's easy.

Man:
Oh, but come on, look at the size of his-

Woman:
THROW!

The man chucks the first ring. It hits the side of one of the posts. The woman rolls her eyes. The man looks angry and throws another one. It lands on top of one of the posts and bounces off. The man throws another ring which misses the post completely. The woman clips him round the ear. The man throws another ring which again bounces off the side. The woman clips him round the ear again.

Stallholder:
Why don't you try it your other hand, son?

The man angrily slams his final ring in the other hand, starts spinning round wildly and screaming. He throws the ring at high velocity. It bounces off one of the posts and embeds itself in the man's eye. He falls to the floor screaming in agony.

Woman:
He'll have another five rings.

ENDS

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