Teen rebel 2007

GIRL : Mum

MUM : Yes dear?

GIRL : I'm not quite sure how to tell you this.

MUM : Come on - spit it out. I won't bite your head off.

GIRL : It's just that ....

MUM : It's just what?

GIRL : I don't want a tattoo.

MUM (EXPLODES WITH RAGE) ; You what?????????

GIRL : I said I don't want a tattoo.

MUM : What the hell's the matter with you?

GIRL : I knew you'd react like that.

MUM : Well what do you expect?

GIRL STARTS TO CRY

MUM : Don't start that.

GIRL : But why must I have one?

MUM : It shows you're individuality.

GIRL : But surely mum - I'm being more of an individual by NOT having one.

MUM CLIPS HER ROUND THE HEAD

MUM : Don't you get cheeky with me young lady. You'll do what you're told. No 16 year old daughter of mine will defy me. You're having a tattoo whether you like it or not.

GIRL : But mum...

MUM : Don't "but mum" me. I'll drag you down to the tattoo parlour myself if I have to. Now look ...

SHE THROWS A CATALOGUE AT HER.

MUM : What sort of a mum would I be if I allowed you not to have one. Now look through there and tell me which one you want.

GIRL : But I don't want any.

MUM : Right - I'll pick one out for you myself.

SHE TAKES IT BACK AND FLICKS THROUGH THE CATALOGUE.

MUM : Right - you either have "Mum", a rose or a dragon. And don't you dare show me up again!

Very AB-Fab I could just imagine Jenifer Saunders dragging the un trendy scamp into the local bar for some Tequila Sunrises afterwards... then asking her total embarrassment of a daughter where she wanted her first of many piercings before they bought tickets for some kind of heavy metal vomit party... if only my parents were that trendy... i'd be marching up some South American mountain range this instant... looking for some insane Hippie settlement to spend the rest of my life with... now where is my passport.

I agree with Reiss w.r.t the Ab-Fab reference. There're probably a lot of other odds and ends that could go into the same general theme ... all the things 'trendy' parents might come up with as desirable versus the more sober wishes of their offspring. It's a nice reversal. So ... not a totally original idea but well done mate ... keep taking the tablets!

An afterthought ... maybe this sort of parent would also require their offspring collects the right number of ASBOs (rather than un-trendy GCSE results!).

I really enjoyed that Dave, very slick. Well done.

With the greatest of respect, David, this is clear and well structured but who would actually laugh out loud at it?

I agree with Fred, it is a good roles reversal idea but I was expecting there to be a punch line at the end.

Yeah, I suppose it could be which opened out a little, e.g the parents pushing her into a corner by introducing a coke dealer, whom they want her to also have sex with as they have chlamydia, then a surgeon, whom they want to administer a boob job and liposuction etc etc. Then it could get a punchline from the girl about wanting to be normal..

Maybe it wasn't that funny. I was making a point more than anything.

Good stuff David, but like Martin said there was not really a punch line. Maybe the last shot of the sketch could be the girl walking back into the waiting room area and now has tattoos all over her face aswell as piercings through her nose and lips.

Apparently Newsrevue have done this.

I'm waiting to hear from them though.

Do you think they'd like my Multicultural Fashion Show?

Nice idea, read well.

Thanks Dale

I've written a Jeremy Kyle type follow up that I'll post up separately.

If it had been a belly-laffer, maybe the lack of punchline wouldn't have mattered so much, but as it was it didn't work as a stand-alone sketch for me.

Oh well. I'll just wait for the cheque to come in.

Yeah it was good, good enough for a full month run at Newsrevue, well done mate.

I have to split the money with Adam, don't tell him how much you got .