Hello!
INT. DAY – BEHIND THE COUNTER OF AN EMPTY INDEPENDENT BURGER BAR.
MR EAGLES, A PRECOCIOUS BOSS IS BERATING STEVE, HIS UNDERLING, AS HE ATTEMPTS TO MAKE A BURGER. MR EAGLES IS WEARING A HEADSET AND A TIE WITH CARTOON CHARACTERS ON IT.
Mr E:
Hasn’t anything I said gone into your thick skull, mate? Look, you only add corned beef to the Big Nasty Burger.
HE WHIPS OUT THE CORNED BEEF AND THROWS IT AT STEVE, WHO GLOWERS AT HIM.
Steve:
Look, Mr E, you told me you max your meat with a Big Nasty – I just thought -
Mr. E:
It’s Mr Eagles to you, flossy chops. And I didn’t say that, mate, it was Smelvis over there.
CUT TO A MIDDLE AGED MAN WITH HAIR AND CLOTHES LIKE ELVIS BUT WITH DROOL DOWN HIS FRONT AND BITS OF CHEESE AND MAYONNAISE ETC PEPPERED OVER HIM IN REPUGNANT FASHION. HE NODS AS HE FLIPS A BURGER..
Steve:
I’m trying my best, Mr E - Mr Eagles, maybe a bit of encouragement would help? I was employee of the day on the Quintuple Cheese Supersausage task..
Mr E:
Flash in the pan, mate. you’d be employee of the year in the Supersize-Mong-with-Knob-Jockey-sauce task..you might even be paralympic champion in that, mate!
V/O Steve:
If he calls me mate once more I’m gonna -
Mr E:
Look, mate i’ll encourage you when I can see there’s someone home in that there head of yours.
HE TAPS STEVE’S SKULL.
V/O Steve:
If he does that again I’ll ram his headset up his arse.
Steve:
Come on, mate, the c**tstomers will be in in 5 minutes, let’s see you get something right. Anybody home??
STEVE GLARES AT HIM. MR EAGLES TAPS STEVE ON THE SKULL AGAIN. STEVE LOOKS AT THE CAMERA.
DISSOLVE INTO A SMALL OFFICE, WHERE STEVE IS FORCIBLY INSERTING MR E’S HEADSET UP HIS RECTUM. MR E IS ON ALL FOURS AND SMELVIS IS GAGGING HIM WITH HIS TIE.
Steve:
Gag him Smelvis!
STEVE IS TRYING TO BEG FOR MERCY BUT THE PAIN OF THE HEADSET AND SMELVIS’S GAGGING HIM REDUCES HIM TO STRANGLED, MUFFLED GRUNTS.
STEVE THEN STOPS AND LOOKS WORRIEDLY AT THE CAMERA.
Steve:
Shit, this isn’t a fantasy sequence! Smelvis, let him go!
CUT