The Luke McArdle Sex Chronicles

The start of a new episode. I'd appreciate feedback on how well it sets up the characters, sit and episode plot.

Thanks

INT.FLAT - DAY

DAY 1. KEVIN walks into the flat and looks around him in bewilderment.

KEVIN

Luke?

LUKE enters

LUKE

Alright Bruv, good day at work?

KEVIN

Okay, what did you do?

LUKE

Do? Nothing!

KEVIN

You tidied up?

LUKE

Yeah, looks alright doesn't it?

KEVIN

You never tidy up.

LUKE

What? I just thought I should start pulling my weight is all, I haven't done anything.

KEVIN

Okay? So what do you want?

LUKE

Why don't you sit down while I get us a drink?

KEVIN sits down while LUKE goes to the fridge, he picks out two beers and gives one to LUKE then sits down.

LUKE

So, how are things with you and Amy?

KEVIN

Have you killed someone?

LUKE

I'm trying to take an interest in your life here, Kevin.

KEVIN

Fine, things are fine, I'm taking her to Romanos tomorrow night.

LUKE

Nice! Look, I know me and her don't exactly see eye to eye..

KEVIN

since you tried to sleep with her Brother.

LUKE

(CONTD)

..because I tried to sleep with her Brother, purely for research purposes. But, I think we should both make an effort to get along. For you.

KEVIN

(suspicious)

That's a very mature attitude?

LUKE

Exactly. So I think you should forget the restaurant and bring her round here for a nice, cosy, threesome.

BEAT

LUKE

(nervous chuckle)

Don't leave me hanging here.

KEVIN

I don't know what to say.

LUKE

Yes? Yes would be nice.

KEVIN

The answer is no, Luke, not now, not ever.

LUKE

It's not the kind of threesome you were hoping for, I know. But don't worry, there'll be no blue on blue action, you're my brother, it'd be weird.

KEVIN

Hello!? Never going to happen!

LUKE

Come on, Kevin, I need this.

KEVIN

You need professional help, you want this because of your stupid sex diary.

LUKE

I need your help, I'm never going to get this book deal if I don't tick all the boxes, you're my only hope.

KEVIN

Not my problem, there's plenty of like minded lunatics on the internet, ask them.

LUKE

Oh that's your solution to everything, technology. (mocking) "Google it, put it in the Sat Nav, flush the toilet" You can't solve everything with gadgets you know.

KEVIN

Then forget it because I'm not dragging my girlfriend into a threesome with you or anyone else.

LUKE

You selfish Bastard!

LUKE walks to his bedroom and slams the door.

Or is this better

INT.FLAT - DAY

K£VIN is sitting on the sofa, Luke enters.

KEVIN

Alright?

LUKE

No time for pleasantries, Kev, you need to lend me fifty quid.

KEVIN

I'm... not sure I do, nope.

LUKE

Look, I can't really explain until you've given me the money, it's like a chicken and egg thing.

KEVIN opens his wallet.

KEVIN

25, just because I'm curious.

BEAT

LUKE

Okay, (takes money). Do you remember that girl?

KEVIN

(sarcastic)

Oh yeah! That girl.

LUKE

No, the other one, brown hair down to here, wonky nose? (beat) The one you nearly married?

KEVIN

Ella?! You've seen Ella?

LUKE

Ella! Thank god, that's been bugging me all the way home.

KEVIN

Where?

LUKE

I saw her in that shitty, blue lounge on the high street. She was giving me the eye over the bar, literally.

BEAT

LUKE

Because I couldn't see the other one.

BEAT

LUKE

Due to the wonky nose.

KEVIN

She didn't have a wonky nose, Luke.

LUKE

Anyway, I was starting to sense higher than usual levels of hostility when it clicked. "I know her from somewhere"

KEVIN

Like when she was in tears at the altar.

LUKE

The Limo, actually. You'd know that if you'd got there on time.

KEVIN

You! Are you taking the piss?! You chained me to a lampost in Aberdeen, naked!

LUKE

That's what happens on stag nights, Kevin, crazy shit! If you wanted her enough you would have turned up.

F/X: Intercom buzzing

KEVIN

That'll be Amy, let her in then get out.

LUKE

Alright

LUKE walks over to the intercom and looks at the screen.

LUKE

You were right, she doesn't really have a wonky nose.

KEVIN

She's here? You told her where I live?

LUKE

We, I live here too!

KEVIN

Shit, Amy will be here soon. Get rid of her, tell her I'm not in.

LUKE

Give me the other twenty five quid first.