johnny smith
Friday 26th April 2013 11:16am [Edited]
279 posts
But it must be the British factor that makes the 'big man' 'gag' seem like such a painful subtle-free clunker - especially when you consider other gems of innuendo that Ben Elton had a hand in....
Edmund: Good. Well done. and now, returning to the real world: Do you have
a knife?
Baldrick: Yeah.
Edmund: Good, because I wish to quickly send off some party invitations,
and, to make them look particularly tough, I wish to write them
in blood -- your blood, to be precise.
Baldrick: So, how much blood will you actually be requiring, My Lord?
Edmund: Oh, nothing much -- just a small puddle.
Baldrick: Will you want me to cut anything off? an arm or a leg, for
instance?
Edmund: Oh, good lord, no -- a little prick should do.
Baldrick: Very well, My Lord; I am your bondsman and must obey. [sticks his
knife down his trousers and begins sawing]
Edmund: For God's sake, Baldrick! I meant a little prick on your finger!
Baldrick: [nearly crying] I haven't got one there!
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Prince George: I know some fairly liberal-minded girls, but I've never penultimated any of them in a solar sojourn, or for that matter, been given any Norman tongue.
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George: Ah, Baldrick. Have you seen Nurse Mary? I need someone to post this
letter.
Baldrick: She's in the office with the captain, sir.
George: Ah, poor girl -- tied to her desk, day and night...
(Edmund enters)
George: Ah, Cap! I hear you've been seeing a lot of Nurse Mary.
Edmund: Yes -- almost all of her, in fact.
George: How is she, sir?
Edmund: Unbelievable!