V1
.
SHAKESPEARE IS AT A DESK WRITING
"Too be or not to be?"
PULL BACK TO REVEAL HE IS PLAYING BATTLESHIPS WITH SIR FRANCIS BACON
SIR FRANCIS BACON
"Not too be!"
V2
SHAKESPEARE IS SITTING WRITING AT A DESK
SHAKESPEARE
"If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you prick us do we not laugh? If you wrong us do we not avenge?"
PULL BACK TO REVEAL HE IS ACTUALLY IN AN AUDIENCE WITH SIR FRANCIS BACON, QUEEN ELIZABETH IS DOING STANDUP ON THE STAGE
SIR FRANCIS BACON
"Verily sirrah stop heckling!"
Liked the first one.
yup definitely the stronger, I think the second may have life if edited.
Because it does sound to me like how you'd taunt a crap standup. But the structure meh doesn't work.
How about a different punchline to the first though, something along the lines of Bacon saying "You sunk my long boat!".
Or not.
interesting, I think that would be
shakespeare
2b or not 2b?
bacon
2b you sunk my longboat!
Something like that, maybe, see if anyone else has an opinion.
Ultra condensed version of an old one of mine:
Setting: generic TV talent show.
ANNOUNCER (V.O): And now here's William from Warwickshire
WILLIAM: (pretentious poetry voice) Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
In the judges seats, smug SIMON, smarmy PIERS and relatively harmless TOKEN FEMALE
SIMON: I'd prefer it if you didn't. Next
WILLIAM: But wait... there's more... a play
(falsetto voice, hammy acting) Romeo, Romeo... wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy-
SIMON: (interrupting) He's probably waiting for you in the dressing room. Next
PIERS (muttered) Not exactly the next Susie Boyle, is he?
WILLIAM: Is this a dagger I see before me?
SIMON, PIERS, TOKEN FEMALE: Security!
As William is dragged offstage, we pull back to reveal the show is called "Britain Used To Have Talent"
How the f**k did you manage to use a 'u' with an accent over it?
Didn't even know that existed.
Wool that's useless feedback
Shear it is.
Quote: zooo @ January 8 2013, 7:06 PM GMTHow the f**k did you manage to use a 'u' with an accent over it?
Didn't even know that existed.
ÛÙÜÚ
Yes but how does one use it by accident. Not important, was just wondering.
First one is excellent.
Punch is
bacon
Not 2b - you've sunk my galleon!
Shakespeare played a lot of bard games.
Quote: zooo @ January 8 2013, 7:06 PM GMTHow the f**k did you manage to use a 'u' with an accent over it?
Didn't even know that existed.
The umlah (two dots over the U) means pronounce as "ugh", not "you" in Russian. Technically, Peter Ustinov should have two dots over the U in his surname.