Comedy names used properly can be great, but Imma Bender is a terrible comedy name (nearly as bad as Ben Stiller's Gaylord Focker...)
You use the voiceovers well and the scenes are relatively short and snappy, but unfortunately most of the actual jokes are weak, and the script doesn't seem to have any actual plot
Best line:
What you think you're clever with your big shiney torch on your head come on then!
Imma isn't even a name though, it's just a cheap set-up and surely that 'joke' can't be stretched over a whole series?
I see where your going but how about giving this a try - rather than the name pun have him living in a street/village with a funny name? Eg: Nobbler Avenue & the kids call him nobbler for living in that area. You can reference it less frequently but still pull on it if required. Plenty of odd place names if you search around on Google!
Hi, I have written a comedy based on a small building firm that I worked for. I started writing it about a year & half ago and have now written six episodes and have plenty more to come. I've showed it to about ten people and they all think its hilarious. They keep asking for more so I think it must be funny, well I know it's funny!! I'm going to post the first ten pages up as I would like to get feed back from people that are doing the same thing. Thanks