Hi all,
I am looking for some feedback on my new comedy blog, Dukan But Don't Want To! It's a humourous look at the world of fad dieting. I have had immense support and feedback up until now - but would love some anonymous critiques.
Extracts so far :
"I have been persuaded (for want of a better word) by my mother, to try out the Dukan diet with her. This blog is going to be following our progress (more for my own benefit than all of yours - however lovely it would be to get support from the masses, I am not entirely sure Gary Barlow or Wentworth Miller have the time, nor the interest to hear about how much chicken I can eat in a day, or how cutting sugar out of my 17 daily cups of tea ended in mass murder in the local bakery!) I digress...
So - persuaded. This is the polite choice of wording. I feel 'blackmailed' might be more apt, or maybe 'guilt tripped'! However, whichever word one could choose to use, here I am, about to embark upon my (eternal optimist here) trip to skinny! For those of you who don't know me, this is hopefully going to be a vaguely amusing (in the sort of way one can look back and laugh in five years time) journey, for those of you who do know me, please gently steer me away from the cake aisle if you see me loitering there with intent."
"Day 2 I feel is going to pose a problem for me. I have unwittingly plonked myself directly in the path (more of a motorway than a path) of temptation (much to my mother's delight might I add - she is practically brimming with joy at the thought that I might fail on Day 2!), I have been invited to my best friend's house for a roast with her family. Uh Oh. My body has barely forgiven me for cutting sugar out of my cups of tea, I am not entirely sure it is going to fare well today. Heaven forbid I should suddenly turn into some sort of grab-o-matic lunatic in the middle of the lunch table, with a (very lovely) family of horrified and bemused onlookers, completely taken aback by two little hands frantically snatching roast potatoes and parsnips and shoveling them into my mouth before my brain has a chance to protest... "
"I made cod fillets tonight (see photo below). I oven roasted them with fresh lemon, pepper and herbs. For a fat free meal, it wasn't half bad! A little tip for those of you (like me) who get confused between a spatula and a fork in the kitchen - rub fresh lemon all over fish before you cook it, and then chuck the lemon into the foil parcel with it in slices - adds to the flavour. I'm no Nigella, but I am pretty sure that's never been done before, by anyone. Maybe my next blog should be about cooking, as I am clearly the latest pioneer when it comes to cooking fish, with lemons. Talking of cookery, we have wisely decided that it is much more sensible for us to eat BEFORE Master Chef comes on the television - this way we avoid what will now be known as 'the tuna episode' of last night. Binge eating on a diet - fun if you cheat and tuck into a chocolate fudge cake, not so fun if you find yourself in the kitchen hysterically wielding a can opener and a tin of tuna and frantically snatching at a nearby bottle of soy sauce and a spring onion, whilst watching your mother furiously spooning fat free greek yoghurt onto dry tuna in a desperate attempt to "liven it up a little". Never again."
If this has made you chuckle at all, please check out the rest of my blog and let me know what you think!
Many Thanks
Alice