Host: ' hello and welcome to todays show . todays quiz challengers are the bishops from craggy island and are here aginst possibly britains dumbest quiz team , the meat ! question is , do they , have the brains to beat the meat ? lets find out !'
jack: 'i be jack from craggy island ! feck off ! '
ted: ' ho ho jack , now behave ... im ted from craggy island as well '
mrs doyle: ' would ya like a cup of tea ? '
dougal: 'where are we now then ted ? '
host: ' ok enough introductions , lets have or first contestsants to the question room please , its jack from the bishops versus bj from the meat ! ''
host: ' ok first question to jack ......when george lucas released the first of his new star wars trilogy , what was the general concensus about the film amongst critics ? '
jack: ' ARSE !! '
host: ' correct ! , ok bj your first question is when was the battle of hastings ? '
bj: ' errrrr ......was it quarter past eight ? '
host: ' nope ! next question to jack ... girly aviator amy johnson dissapeared in the where ?'
jack: ' DRINK !'
host: ' close enough ! bj's next question is what did mary magdelin say to her lover on their first night together ?'
bj: ' ....jesus ....that a hard one....'
host: ' is correct ! '
bj: ' ..........'
host ' ok jack , you need to answer this question to win the round ......little jack horner got caught with his finger in what according to the nursery rhyme ?'
jack ' GIRLS !!'
host ' correct ...or close enough anyway !'