Hi Guys,
I have written a sitcom - Rules of Life, and Luma Productions (an independent production company) have produced it. Our budget has been small but we are really proud of the pilot we've produced and we want you to see it! We'd love to hear your feedback if you have any.
Here is a teaser clip - it's our final scene and stars Rich Keeble as Stan. http://vimeo.com/52033748
Thanks
Steve
stevewhyley@yahoo.com
07738583243
I quite liked that. Certainly passed 10 minutes pleasantly enough. If you don't mind me saying though, some of the gags stretched credulity a bit - especially the Paul Ross one. I mean I know those pics exist but I didn't believe your character was stupid enough to buy one for his GF. And I didn't get the weird rash on her arm. Was that just because she was upset? Didn't really make sense.
But mostly I would've liked a lot less narration, it jarred me out of the story because I was more concentrating on you silently acting your way through your inner dialogue. There was too much of that and it was off-putting, IMO.
Anyway, it kept me watching till the end, I think with another edit and a polish it could be a nice piece of work.
Very best of luck with it 