JUSTIN:
If a person's endangered their own life - common sense tells us that the most appropriate punishment is to lock them up with a bunch of murderers.
Which is precisely what's happened to Trenton Oldfield - the anti-elitism campaigner who disrupted this year's Boat Race.
Let's take a peek at how he's getting on inside.
NARRATOR:
The prison diary of Trenton Oldfield. Monday...
TRENTON:
Witnessed my cellmate being groomed by the capitalist machine! He was playing Monopoly.
Decided to do what any self-respecting equalitarian would do - and swallowed the dice.
Got myself a black eye. And an achy stomach.
NARRATOR:
Tuesday...
TRENTON:
The grooming's getting worse. Today I caught him reading a copy of Duncan Bannatyne's autobiography!
Decided to do what any self-respecting equalitarian would do - and read Das Kapital aloud in a falsetto voice.
Got myself another black eye. And a sore throat.
NARRATOR:
Wednesday...
TRENTON:
The grooming's beginning to spiral out of control. This evening I caught him watching new episodes of Made in Chelsea!
Decided to do what any self-respecting equalitarian would do - and severed the television wires with my teeth.
Got myself a broken nose. And a mild electric shock.
NARRATOR:
Friday...
TRENTON:
Found out that my cellmate's father's a hedge fund manager - and thus his chief groomer.
Decided to do what any self-respecting equalitarian would do - and gate-crashed his dad's monthly visit.
Got myself a couple of broken ribs. And a stint in solitary.
