JUSTIN:
Whether you loathe him or hate him - there's no getting away from George Galloway. And I mean that literally - as he's here right now in the studio.
GEORGE:
As-Salam Alaikum.
JUSTIN:
Eh?
GEORGE:
That means 'hello' in Arabic.
JUSTIN:
Right - well, in that case - As-Salam Alaikum to you too. Now, it's been alleged that you've been the victim of a 'dirty tricks' campaign.
GEORGE:
That's correct.
JUSTIN:
Although it must be said - the source isn't the most reliable of witnesses.
GEORGE:
I'm the source!
JUSTIN:
Exactly. Now, when you say 'dirty tricks' - presumably you're not talking about puppetry of the penis. So, what DO you mean?
GEORGE:
People are smearing me, Justin!
JUSTIN:
With excrement?
GEORGE:
With nasty, vicious lies!
JUSTIN:
Such as...?
GEORGE:
Listen - they'd have you believe that I'm the type of man who impersonates felines, who likens rape to 'bad sexual etiquette' and who doesn't even know the name of his own constituency!
JUSTIN:
But all those things are true - I mean; I've seen the footage on YouTube!
GEORGE:
No - you THINK they're true! When in actual fact - you've been brainwashed!
JUSTIN:
By whom?
GEORGE:
By the people who devote themselves to trashing my reputation!
JUSTIN:
'People'? Don't you mean... person?
GEORGE:
Eh?
JUSTIN:
You see, there's only one person who's devoted to trashing your reputation!
GEORGE:
Really? Well, in that case - I demand that you name and shame the bastard right here, right now!
JUSTIN:
His name's George Galloway.