FX: RECEPTION BELL
NICK:
Hi - I was wondering if you've got any rooms going?
HOTELIER:
I'm afraid they're all reserved... for decent people.
NICK:
I'm sorry?
HOTELIER:
We don't cater to your type in here!
NICK:
My 'type'?
HOTELIER:
We prefer to uphold traditional, moral values.
NICK:
Oh - I get it! This is because I'm straight isn't it? You're discriminating against me because I'm an out-and-proud heterosexual!
HOTELIER:
For your information - we treat heterophobia with zero tolerance.
NICK:
You do?
HOTELIER:
Indeed, it's one of our founding principles.
NICK:
Oh... well, then why are you turning me away?
HOTELIER:
Because of our no-bastards policy - Mr Griffin.