News week

I am trying to go through the week and see if I can write an amusing blog about each days news. Does anyone think this is slightly amusing?

Monday
I have now won exactly the same amount of tour de France titles as Lance Armstrong.

Newsnight in the dock after Jimmy Saville investigation was shelved. Or as Kirsty Walk would say, 'your letter was only the start of it, one letter and now you're a part of it', no more on that story later.

The Leeds fan who assaulted Sheffield Wednesday goalkeeper has been jailed for 4 months. When asked if he thought the sentence was over the top he replied, 'I'll only have to do half so I'll be out in a month.'

Cern announces that hot on heels of the Higgs Particle being confirmed the standard model of physics has been amended again to include the Nick Griffin boson. It carries the racist force and like other sub atomic particles is pointless and behaves differently when observed.

like the Lance Armstrong gag

If you happen to read this before 4pm, Send the Lance Armstrong one to news jack as a jackapp

Quote: enigmatic @ October 23 2012, 12:12 PM BST

If you happen to read this before 4pm, Send the Lance Armstrong one to news jack as a jackapp

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Agreed, and take it down from here before some unscrupulous bastard submits it as one of their own.

Lo and behold, a very similar line was used in tonight's Newsjack episode.

It was a good joke, but given the subject matter and the number of people submitting I would be surprised if this was plagerised.

Sorry Teddy, I agree it almost certainly wasn't plagiarised, I was just saying the OP could have given them a dilemma on who to credit. Though we don't know for certain that someone didn't lift it from this thread, there are some odd people around.

I also heard Richard Bacon using the same line on his show yesterday? But great minds think alike and all that.

That's terrible Pingl. You were listening to Richard Bacon?

I know my shame knows no bounds. I'm wheening myself off radio 5, I've kicked Nickie Campbell completely, I'm using Bacon to slowly end the dependency. Everday in every way...