British Comedy Guide

Corny Waiter Sketch

Customer - Waiter there's an eye in my soup.

Waiter - A fly, Oh I'm terribly sorry Sir

Customer - No an eye, an eye man!

Waiter - Yes Sir, do you not like it

Customer - Well I haven't tasted it, there's an eye in it.

Waiter - Well yes Sir it is eye soup.

Customer - I asked for the soup of the day

Waiter - yes Sir the soup of the day is eye soup.

Customer - What sort of eye is it?

Waiter - A human eye Sir.

Customer - Human eye!

Waiter - Yes, fresh humans eye Sir. I can get you a name and address of the donor if you're worried its not fresh enough?

Customer - It's not the freshness! It's a human eye!

Waiter - Are you Vegetarian Sir?

Customer - No I'm not, neither am I a Cannibal!

Waiter - Oh I see Sir. This is a cannibal restaurant.

Customer - A what!

Waiter - A cannibal restaurant Sir, We serve only the freshest human flesh in a variety of sauces and soups. All humanely destroyed by a clinic in the Netherlands, all volunteers.

Customer - They wanted to be eaten?

Waiter - Oh yes. Very happy to be eaten Sir. Would Sir prefer some liver pate?

Customer - No I wouldn't. I think I'm going to be sick....

Customers Wife - Oh don't be so silly James. Spotted Dick for me please.

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