ALAN:
Darling - I've found it!
SARAH:
Found what?
ALAN:
My passport to literary success!
SARAH:
Oh? And what is it this time?
ALAN:
One Direction fan fiction! It's the latest craze!
SARAH:
I thought rough sex was the latest craze!
ALAN:
Have you been living in a cave for the past month?
SARAH:
No - I've been living here with you.
ALAN:
Well FYI - spanking and fisting are SO last summer!
SARAH:
I thought you hated boy bands - and indeed all music from the past thirty years?
ALAN:
I do! But darling you're forgetting one thing! Namely the fact that I am a skilled author - and thus able to conceal my contempt!
SARAH:
You reckon?
ALAN:
I know! Here - see for yourself!
SARAH:
(READS) 'The band left the stage; thoroughly knackered; after lip-syncing through their entire back catalogue of egregious noise pollution.'
'Naturally, the audience lapped-up this so-called performance. I say 'naturally' as most were silly little girls - and thus too young and too stupid to realise they were being hoodwinked.'
ALAN:
A pretty good intro - don't you think?
SARAH:
And your target audience is WHO - exactly?
ALAN:
Well - duh! 12-14 year-olds!