Hello funny people! How do I begin...?

Hellllooo to all you lovely people in comedy land ! my name is steve , and I would love to write jokes for a living ! I am also gifted in the limerick department as well , and would also love to get some published or bought. I am totally new to all this and have no idea how I go about getting jokes or limericks out there to a wider audience .... I was bought up on a steady diet of carry on films , 2 ronnies , the goodies and many more . would appreciate any help or advice any of you guys and girls can give me as I am not currently working due to health issues ( fat and lazy), and working from home writing funny ( hopefully ) stuff would suit me perfectly

many thanks ,steve

Hello Steve, first step is to check out the threads on these subjects.

Next check out Newsjack BBC 4xs open talent show that is currently taking submissions, Kirrin island a show on local radio run by some BCGers or News Revue and Treason Show amongst others.

But mainly get writing and get your stuff seen. Twitter and Facebook can help with this but its a long journey.

Oh and Good luck!

Hello Steve

If you PM me a few of your best limericks and maybe a little biog about yourself I'd be interested in running them in the Rake & Herald.

If we did run something, you'd be fully credited and naturally you'd retain your full copyright and be free to hawk it elsewhere.

As a starter, Patrick 'Deep Dish' Bertoletti, the MLE number two, has just set a new pancake eating record (50 in 10 minutes) so if you could come up with a limerick about that we'd be very interested in bunging it up.

He's a unicorn enthusiast by the way.

More info here: http://www.therakeandherald.tv/society/societystory.php?id=180

A fellow called Patrick Bertoletti
Got fed up eating spaghetti
In ten minutes flat
he ate so many pancakes that
he broke the world record thus winning a toy unicorn that he promptly named Betty!

Pretty good, Marc!

I think I cheated on the last line lol

I'll let you off.

There once was a guy called Patrick

And he was a bit of a maverick

He ate 50 pancakes in ten minutes flat

Talked to a unicorn and wrestled a gnat

And then he went off for a picnic.

good one lol

there was a guy called beroletti
who got rather hot n sweaty
cos his pet unicorn
gave him the 'horn'
and the end result wasnt pretty...