British Comedy Guide

NJ: Innocence of Dawkins

Here is one of my rejects from this week's Newsjack. Any thoughts would be appreciated:

Innocence Of Dawkins

JUSTIN:
It's widely acknowledged these days that atheism is the same as religion, in the same way that a dog is the same as not-a-dog.

But a new film called 'Innocence Of Dawkins' has sparked protests across the atheist world, by depicting their spiritual leader - renowned sceptic Richard Dawkins - as a credulous simpleton.

DAWKINS:
Ooh, 2-for-1 scratchcards, that's good value. This new facebook timeline is great.

JUSTIN:
Newsjack has this clip from the film's trailer:

GRAMS:FILM SCORE.

TRAILER:
(V/O) In a world gone rational, one man faces the unexplained.

DAWKINS:
I just don't see how that magician knew there was a coin in my ear. My horoscope said this would happen.

TRAILER:
(V/O) Richard Dawkins, the man who shaves with Occam's Razor, is about to have his world turned upside down.

DAWKINS:
The results of this Scientology Personality Test are astonishing.

SCIENTOLOGIST:
Sometimes you're hungry, Richard, and sometimes you like sitting down.

DAWKINS:
Uncanny! That's me in a nutshell.

TRAILER:
(V/O) But battling the forces of reason, will take everything he's got.

DAWKINS:
My shakras are misaligned, I need Ginkgo!

TRAILER:
(V/O) Innocence Of Dawkins: He can't handle the truth.

JUSTIN:
Following references to Scientology in that clip, the BBC would like to remind listeners that other obviously-made-up religions are available. Now, I'd like to -

FX:ANGRY MOB CRASHES THROUGH DOOR.

MOB:
Boo! Shame!

JUSTIN:
An Atheist Militia!

BYSTANDER:
(OFF) Watch out, she's got critical faculties!

ATHEIST:
How dare you broadcast those hateful lies about Professor Dawkins?

JUSTIN:
How did you lot get past BBC security?

ATHEIST:
We're cardigan-wearing Trotskyites, they assumed we worked here. Now, you slanderous dog, prepare to feel the rage of the Militant Atheist!

JUSTIN:
Okay.

ATHEIST:
(PAUSE) You- you're feeling it now. This is it.

JUSTIN:
Look, just clear off. You're ruining the show.

ATHEIST:
Are we? (BEAT) Oh God, sorry. Come on, let's go.

FX:MOB LEAVES IN AN ORDERLY FASHION.

JUSTIN:
Go on, get out.

ATHEIST:
(OFF) Sorry about the mess.

JUSTIN:
Out!

Thank heavens they're gone. Now, I'd like to reassure listeners that there definitely is a supreme power who watches over us and knows all our secrets, and it's Rupert Murdoch.

Really good idea. Like it. Could maybe work something around the Atheist saying 'Oh God'. Like 'My heavens, I mean, dear lord, I mean, my....word'

Thanks for the nice comment. Another comment which appeared and disappeared said that it was not punchy enough and too long which, looking back on it, I think is right.

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