Justin - Creativity is not easy, nor is it as difficult as JK Rowling makes it look, but why waste time creating something new when you can revive something that has already worked; like Helen Mirren reprising her role as The Queen or the Tory government going back to the pre welfare state. With that in mind please welcome back the Newsjack shop!
GRAMS infomercial style music
Woman 1 - I wanted to go to university, but since Nick Clegg broke his promise on fees I can't afford it
V/O - Don't worry Newsjack shop is here to help
Woman 1 - You mean you'll pay the tuition fees?
V/O -Of course - not, but you can buy Nick Cleggs new album of apologies;
Woman 1 - That's not what I wanted
V/O - That's the title of the album! The thirty six disc set includes such hits as School fields For Gold, Sorry Seems To Be The Most Frequent Word and Good Intentions. As if that wasn't enough we're throwing in a behind the scenes look at his musical inspiration
David - Just do as you're (F/X bleep) told. We've got (F/X Bleep) ing hit on our hands if you just (F/X Bleep) listen you absolute (F/X Bleep x 4)
Nick - Yes, Prime minister
V/O - Order now and for no extra charge you'll also receive Andrew Mitchell singing; I fought the law and the law won
V/O begins speaking fast to signify small print
V/O - Please note the word sorry is carefully avoided at all times and any feeling of forgiveness is purely coincidently and will not last
END