JUSTIN:
Much like manufacturers of false teeth; charities rely on pensioners for their continued existence. Indeed, such is the extent of the generation gap in generosity; that an intervention is now journeying its way through the pipelines.
FX: FINAL BARS OF BLUE PETER THEME
HELEN:
Charity - what is it?
BARNEY:
Now, that may sound like a patronising question.
HELEN:
And it is.
BARNEY:
But let's answer it anyway!
HELEN:
You see, sometimes in life - grown ups do naughty things.
BARNEY:
Like stripping cancer patients of their benefits.
HELEN:
Or battering children.
BARNEY:
Which is where charities come in.
HELEN:
They pick up the pieces after adults commit whoopsies.
BARNEY:
Now, charities require money - which unlike apples...
HELEN:
Doesn't grow on trees!
BARNEY:
So they ask people to send them donations.
HELEN:
Now, grown ups are usually very generous.
BARNEY:
Especially nannies and granddads.
HELEN:
But young people...
BARNEY:
That's people like you!
HELEN:
Prefer blowing their cash on things like toys and video games instead.
BARNEY:
Which is why we're asking you...
HELEN:
To share the responsibility...
BARNEY:
Of fixing problems...
HELEN:
Which are no fault of your own...
HELEN/ BARNEY:
By donating your pocket money - today!