Advertiser 1Coming soon 'The Mitchell Guide to Modern Swearing'.
Advertiser 2Never be left grasping for a bon mot when faced with misfortune and impudence. Andrew Mitchell guides you through appropriate modern swearing, whatever the circumstance:
Advertiser 1Maybe you've misplaced an important document...
Andrew MitchellOh Fiddlesticks!
Advertiser 1Or a backbencher isn't falling into line...
Andrew MitchellWhat the Dickens!
Advertiser 1Or facing impertinent requests from Her Majesty's constabulary...
Andrew MitchellYou utter Pleb! You're a total Rotter! A complete Dastard!
Advertiser 2The 2012 edition has words to fit every occasion. It even comes with a new section on swearing for commoners written by the Eastends' own Phil Mitchell.
Phil Mitchell Leave it, you Muppet!
Advertiser 1"The Mitchell Guide to Modern Swearing " - the fitting words to tell others 'on yer bike' when you're told to get off yours.