NJ - Billy Footballer (Broadcast)

A few people were asking about NJ sketches that were used so here's my Billy Footballer one.

Lines in brackets were added by the script editor, lines between XXXX and XXXX were removed.

NEWSJACK FILMS: BILLY FOOTBALLER

VOICEOVER:Newsjack Films is proud to present the heart-warming story of a generic northern boy who didn't quite fit in.

GIRL:That's it Billy, don't worry about getting beaten up every day at school you be who you want to be.

VOICEOVER:And his repressed father who was probably a miner sometime in the 1980s.

FATHERGENERIC NORTHERN ACCENT) You've brought shame on this family Billy. Why can't you be more like me and me father and his father before him and his father before him and his father before him ... (and his father before, no he were a wrong 'un but his father before him... )

VOICEOVER:Because in the summer of 2012, when everyone else wanted to be an Olympian, Billy dared to be different.

FATHER:What's all this racket coming from your room our Billy? Why are you throwing yourself on the floor and clutching your face? (GASPS) No! It can't be!

VOICEOVER:Because Billy wanted to be a footballer.

FATHER:I knew something were up when I saw you sending racist tweets but I never imagined this.

BILLY:Close the door dad! Close the door!

VOICEOVERee how his father deals with Billy's choices.

FATHER:Look son, folk round here like those who play proper sports now like tennis or cycling or (equestrian) dressage. But not football.

XXXX BILLY:You can't stop me dad. One day I'm going to be just like my hero, John Terry. XXXX

VOICEOVER:But one teacher never stopped believing in Billy and his dream.

TEACHERFEMALE) You ignore them Billy, no-one will remember who XXXX Jason Kenny XXXX (Bradley Wiggins) is once the Champions League group stages gets under way. And I've got you a trial for Manchester United.

BILLY:Manchester United! How did you manage that Miss?

TEACHER:Granted they usually rely on their extensive scouting network XXXX and require you to train with their coaches for several years.XXXX But I explained you were a plucky boy from somewhere in the north of England whose mum died several years ago but still speaks to you from beyond the grave they said 'Go on then, why not'.

XXXX
VOICEOVER:And slowly his father accepted Billy's choice.

FATHERSHOUTING FROM TERRACES) Get stuck in Billy. Tell that referee he's a f..(BEEP)...ing blind (BEEP). XXXX
[An edited version of this line was recorded but then cut for the final broadcast]

VOICEOVER:Billy Footballer. XXXX Coming to cinemas this autumn. XXXX (90 minutes you'll never get back)

THE END

Lovely

Excellent sketch Ste, kudos.

Brilliant stuff! I laughed out loud a LOT listening to that and then there is something almost magical about simply reading it in it's original format. Very educational. Nice one bud..

How wonderful to be able to converse with those who are this talented and sharing the material willingly like this, it really does help and damn - it's great fun too!

Beej

I thought this was a terrific premise the moment you mentioned sending it on the NJ thread.

And it's nicely written, so it didn't need to be changed much

Good stuff

Yeah yeah, well done, blah blah blah...

Good sketch, and cheers for sharing the edits. Very helpful for people.

Dan

A new member on the forum who doesn't know me that well:

Quote: Beej @ September 26 2012, 12:12 PM BST

How wonderful to be able to converse with those who are this talented and sharing the material willingly like this, it really does help and damn - it's great fun too!

View original

A more experienced member of the forum who's read a lot more of my work:

Quote: swerytd @ September 26 2012, 1:36 PM BST

Yeah yeah, well done, blah blah blah...

View original

Still happy to keep the 'Wizard of Oz' curtain up for as long as possible.

To delve into this process further, what helped inspire this sketch StephenM so that you were able to take it in a whimsical and delightful direction?