Here was my take on the 'everyone wrote something about this' theme last week.
Dan
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NJ: Royalty Uncovered
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JUSTIN:
I don't know: all this fuss about telephoto lenses. I get my naked celebrity photographs from the Hubble space telescope. It's the particularly hairy black holes I like. Anyway, blah blah naked princess et cetera et cetera...
PRINCE CHARLES:
Goodness gracious me! I shall have to have a frank word with my children.
F/X:KNOCK KNOCK. DOOR OPENS. PEOPLE RUNNING.
HARRY:
Way-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
KATE:
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
CHARLES:
Argh! Cover my eyes! Harry! Katherine! Put some clothes on this instant!
HARRY:
It's alright, Dad! No longer is it crude to be rude! Woo-whooo!
KATE:
No indeedy, Daddy-in-Law! It's wicked to be nikkid! Wave your arms in the air and let them swing! Boing boing!
CHARLES:
Desist in this behaviour! We're a British institution and, as such, more reserved than a Harvester on cheap curry night.
HARRY:
Nan said not to be that anymore.
CHARLES:
What?
KATE:
Yah! Granny-in-Law's said it'd help raise our flagging profile.
CHARLES:
She did?
HARRY:
Aaaiiiiiiiiiiieeeee! Ask her yo'self.
F/X
OOR OPENING. BILLIARD BALLS CLUNKING TOGETHER
QUEEN:
Another win! My frame, Phillip. Now, gerrem orff and three laps of the Palace. And no, that wee bag is not an item of clothing.
CHARLES:
Mummy?
QUEEN:
Ah, Charles. I need someone to flash a bus full of nuns.
CHARLES:
You must be out of your mind, ma!
QUEEN:
You know, I'm veeee-rry comfortable on this throne? I think I might just... yes, I think I'll live forever.
CHARLES:
Oh, for goodness sake.
F/X:UNZIPPING TROUSERS
CHARLES (CT'D):
Are they at least catholic?
END