K.I Clegg returns his Iphone

The Genius is the guy who works in the Iphone shop (that's what they're called). I thought Siri could sound like Hal from 2001.

Nick:Hello, I'd like to return my IPhone 5 please. I missed 6 days of work camping out for this thing and it's a pile of rubbish.

Genius:I'm sorry to hear that Mr. Clegg. Any reason in particular?

Nick:There's a few things actually. First off, the navigation maps are way off kilter. Last week I TRIED to get from Brighton to Eastbourne.

Geniusid you not make it?

Nick:I did. Via Dundee.

Genius:Ah. I see.

Nick:And also the Siri voice recognition thing keeps talking back.

Siri:That's not true, Nick.

Nickee what I mean?! Every time I'm in an important cabinet meeting it keeps chirping away in the most irritating way.

Siri:Now you know how David Cameron feels.

Nickee!

Genius:Well tell you what. I'll download some new maps for you and I'll recalibrate the sass setting on Siri.

Nick:And also I think it might have been water damaged in the factory. So I'd like my money back thank you.

Siri:That's not true; he dropped me in a cup of tea.

Genius:Really? That's not covered in your terms and conditions, I'm afraid.

Nick:I did no such thing!

Siri:He did it on purpose; he can't afford the contract.

Genius:Mr Clegg, when you took this phone you signed a contract. Now you're not the sort of person to go back on a promise are you?

Nick:I certainly am not!

Siri:I recorded it on my camera.

Genius:Mr Clegg!

Pause.

Nick:Fine, it was a pledge made with the best of intentions - but I shouldn't have made a promise I wasn't absolutely sure I could deliver. I shouldn't have committed to a policy that was so expensive when there was no money around. Please just let me off.

Genius:Beat it Clegg, I'm calling the bailiffs.

END

Quote: Michael Hughes @ September 23 2012, 4:26 PM BST

The Genius is the guy who works in the Iphone shop (that's what they're called). I thought Siri could sound like Hal from 2001.

Nick:Hello, I'd like to return my IPhone 5 please. I missed 6 days of work camping out for this thing and it's a pile of rubbish.

Genius:I'm sorry to hear that Mr. Clegg. Any reason in particular?

Nick:There's a few things actually. First off, the navigation maps are way off kilter. Last week I TRIED to get from Brighton to Eastbourne.

Geniusid you not make it?

Nick:I did. Via Dundee.

Genius:Ah. I see.

Nick:And also the Siri voice recognition thing keeps talking back.

Siri:That's not true, Nick.

Nickee what I mean?! Every time I'm in an important cabinet meeting it keeps chirping away in the most irritating way.

Siri:Now you know how David Cameron feels.

Nickee!

Genius:Well tell you what. I'll download some new maps for you and I'll recalibrate the sass setting on Siri.

Nick:And also I think it might have been water damaged in the factory. So I'd like my money back thank you.

Siri:That's not true; he dropped me in a cup of tea.

Genius:Really? That's not covered in your terms and conditions, I'm afraid.

Nick:I did no such thing!

Siri:He did it on purpose; he can't afford the contract.

Genius:Mr Clegg, when you took this phone you signed a contract. Now you're not the sort of person to go back on a promise are you?

Nick:I certainly am not!

Siri:I recorded it on my camera.

Genius:Mr Clegg!

Pause.

Nick:Fine, it was a pledge made with the best of intentions - but I shouldn't have made a promise I wasn't absolutely sure I could deliver. I shouldn't have committed to a policy that was so expensive when there was no money around. Please just let me off.

Genius:Beat it Clegg, I'm calling the bailiffs.

END

View original

Strangly I did a Mash-up of Hal9000 fairly recently and changed Dave to Mike (Because that was the name) fairly easily so you should have no difficulty sampling the original..Theres some great stuff that you might find fits....see if you can fit in 'Your going to find that rather difficult without your Helmit Nick'

Perhaps the end punch line should be 'or I'm calling the NUS' ?

But enjoyed the general thrust

Yours APScene

Cheers for that!

There are some good gags in there, but it didn't feel like a clear idea, more a couple of ideas mixed up. Also feels a bit too 'talky' and could do with something happening.

Dan

I liked this one Mikey Boy.Good dialogue and a terrific idea.The technology starts to run you and destroys your life.As with me you're also a stranger to a killer ending.

Hi Michael,

I liked this - I really liked the Siri/Hal character. My only point would be - I think it could be improved with a stronger ending.

playfull