British Comedy Guide

NJ From The Archive

Justin - History - much like a strong curry - will always repeat itself. The Royals maybe preparing for legal action over boobie gate but the French have a history of catching royals unawares. Indeed similar events can be traced back to the time of Marie Antoinette. Let me take you back to when Nicholas Parsons was king and currency was correct answers to general knowledge questions - oh wait that's Sale Of The Century. Sorry I can't really work Wikipedia, I just typed in "century". Anyway here it is

Woman 1 - Hear ye. Hear ye.

Man 1 - We heard ye the first time!

Woman 1 - Who are you?

Man 1 - I'm the defendant

Woman 1 - And who is the accuser today?

Marie - I'm Marie Antoinette, the Queen of France. I enjoy long walks on the beach, fine wines and being rich whilst those around me are life endingly poor

Woman 1 - For those who don't know the defendant is said to have distributed pictures of the Queen against her will. Marie how did it make you feel when you saw the lewd photographs for yourself?

Marie - Ashamed. My husband is the only one who should see my ankles

Man 1 - If she didn't want the pictures out there why did she let me get them?

Marie - You took me my surprise?

Man 1 - Surprise? It took me twelve hours to paint those pictures. I had to go to the shop twice for more paint!

Woman 1 - A lifetime to gain a reputation and twelve hours to ruin it

Man 1 - It's in the public interest. Don't we deserve to know that our Queen has a bit between her calves and her feet?

Marie - My ankles are my own business. Those are my nether-nether regions

Man 1 - It's the eighteenth century, move with the times

Marie - First you invade my privacy and now you show me no respect. Forget the trail off with his head, and everyone else at News of The Olde World

Woman 1 - Guards! Shall I give them a last meal?

Marie - Let them eat cake

END

There are some funny lines in this, but the tone feels wrong for 'From The Archive'. Usually it's like a news report to the past, rather than a sketch happening in the past.

Also, to be fair, the one they used was superb this week, so you had your work cut out.

Dan

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